a night ride - pipTalk Forums

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poddarku
Senior Member

since 2008-01-15

Posts 589
india

0 posted 2008-04-23 02:50 PM

A night ride
----------------------
A sweet breeze touches the face, plays with locks,
The car moves with the light and shadow of night.
The torn blanket drawn over by side street
The breeze becomes amazed with life’s tactics.
The rat with two lights of hunger searches
Your left-over. The car wild with night moves.
Moves the world. The end of the night remains
Down-faced in a stream of a dark gutter.

clever talks delay friendship!

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2008-04-23 03:29 PM

Poddarku,

This is a very nice street scene. I hope the rat-killing brigade is aware of that intruder after your left-overs.

Bobby

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2008-04-24 06:58 AM

quote:
The car wild with night moves.
Moves the world. The end of the night remains
Down-faced in a stream of a dark gutter.

This is a high quality poem, dear Ku. Truly amazing.

After watching Disney's "Ratatouille" the rats seem less threatening, but then to see one for real is quite another thing ... They say in Rome there are more rats than people ... help!

But your poem brought other visuals too and they are touching.

Love,
Margherita

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

3 posted 2008-04-24 02:25 PM

This ride fits my midnight mojo! I can relate to the streets of the night as well as I relate to contemplation on the dark side of the westward mountains beyond my city.

This is very fine poetry, indeed!

Art

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

4 posted 2008-04-24 10:01 PM

Ku... you are a wonderful poet! I love the visuals you gave me in this beautiful poem... love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Seoulair
Senior Member

since 2008-03-27

Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea

5 posted 2008-04-25 12:55 PM

How wonderful a description of light and dark as flowing matter.

Always beautiful poem, my friend.

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