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Open Poetry #42
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he knows pain
| Open Poetry #42 |
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he knows pain |
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poddarku Senior Member
since 2008-01-15
Posts 589india 
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He knows pain =========== He let them take his advantage, Plunder the soft tissues of heart. The eyes hurt to conceal dark brooks. They pick him so easy and taunt. We never know abstract pain. We can ask the boy, a minor Who is certain to know much more As his mates know of ways to rag. The school gate and the palsy green The face with a slight twitch is mute To a world of less important Busy buzz and complex layers. He bows his head and moves inside To face another day’s darkness. clever talks delay friendship! |
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| © Copyright 2008 poddar kushal - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Heart wrenching write Pod; You captured the loneliness extremely well here. |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Wow Ku, this is really good, I am very impressed with the consistency & standard of your recent posts, keep it up...John |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
Oh this makes me feel so sad… Beautifully written… Tammy<333 |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Ku.. an amazing write my friend... sad, but beautifully expressed... love RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Ku, what emotion you bring with these words! Tremendous sadness, masterfully expressed. You have a deep deep sensitivity. This is a keeper. Love, Margherita |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I hope he finds a light to help him along his way. This is sad - and beautifully written, podarkku. Alison |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Poddarku, you write social consciousness poetry with great empathy and obvious compassion. Your sketches of life are vivid and compelling evidence that humans often fail to act humane. Thank you, for the words, but even more so, for your kind heart. |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Poddarku, I don't think so. No doubt the pain is authentic. No doubt getting it out is useful. Thank you for showing it. Beyond these valid and moving aims, however, what do you think will bring somebody back to it in five years and read it out loud to somebody else? What about the language and the movement and the way the thing fits makes it work? And what about the ending will keep a reader coming back to it, time after time? You have written down the poem you want. We all have to start there. What does your poem want you to make it? What does your poem want? Our poems can be absolutely ruthless and will accept no excuses. |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
very very nicely down. Heavy life, deep pain. I like this very much, my dear friend. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Poddarku, This is a good poetic take on Tom Brown's school days. It works well. Bobby |
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