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Open Poetry #42

Time

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

0 posted 2008-04-10 11:29 PM

time
keeps ticking by

time
does not lie

time
takes you by suprise

time
you have to keep in mind

time
is going away

what would happen
if today
was your last day?

JJ

Larrysmom
Senior Member

since 2008-04-03

Posts 533
Florida, USA

1 posted 2008-04-10 11:36 PM

Simply beautiful… We would be smart to ask this each and every day…

Tammy<333

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

2 posted 2008-04-13 12:54 PM

thank you

Seoulair
Senior Member

since 2008-03-27

Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea

3 posted 2008-04-13 02:41 AM

Very good.

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

4 posted 2008-04-13 12:13 PM

thank you

shyvl
Senior Member

since 2008-04-11

Posts 531
texas, usa

5 posted 2008-04-13 01:50 PM

I enjoyed the use of repetition. It gave the piece a nice rhthym. I also enjoyed the final lines- it pulled me back to what really counts.
thanks
sharyn

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

6 posted 2008-04-13 04:34 PM

you are very kind

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