Open Poetry #42 |
Sally On The First Warm Day Of Spring |
Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
The first warm day of spring finds Sally, and some of the other members of the girl gang sitting on their front stoops, showing off new babies born in winter. It’s a beautiful sight in the neighborhood— except of course, for mean old "Ebenezer Scrooge", who sits decrying the run-a-way increase in the urban population. Bobby [This message has been edited by Robert E. Jordan (04-09-2008 09:55 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2008 Robert E. Jordan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I like this a lot - except the name "Ebenezer Scrooge". I am not sure why that didn't sit right with me. Maybe it is a bit of a cliche in a very good poem. Alison |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Alison, Thanks dear. I'll put it in parentheses. Yes, Ebenezer did say something like that in Charles Dickens’s "The Christmas Carol" Bobby |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, Bobby. I like the poem lots. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Alison, It’s very much a Charles Dickens type neighborhood. Oliver Twist and Bill Sikes live here. It's also loaded down with wonderful people. Bobby |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Robert E., Always a bit of trouble untangling writer and speaker in your wonderful poems, so it's difficult to reply sometimes and to offer good feedback. The speaker in the poems is generally presented as a kind of a naive guy. You, I hear, have published and can give good advice. You, Robert E., probably know quite a bit about Charles Dickens, or at least "A Christmas Carol." Maybe more than I do, since I'm not big on Dickens. "Scrooge" may in fact be entirely appropriate for your particular area in Philly. The problem is that it may be difficult to find enough of a readership who feels that in bones and bellies not to hear the reference as an off note. I think there's more likely been a confusion of voices between Felix and Bobby and Robert E. and for a moment the poem isn't sure who's talking. The rest of the poem sounds like Felix's spokesperson/friend/alter-ego Bobby (If I have my Jordan-speak right). Now you've got me all confounded again. With admiration, BobK. |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
See them. love the poem. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Thanks Bob K, Felix, Bobby, and Robert E. Jordan are all one big, naive, happy person. It can be confusing. Try to enjoy the stories. You might find my other books more organized, and coherent. "City Boy Stays Alive" is my autobiography, Muck is a book similar to "Felix", and "Marika" is about a female Felix. You can read an outline of the other book I have written at Amazon.com, under the name Robert E. Jordan. The E. stands for Edgar. Bobby |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Seoulair, Thank you for your more than kind words. It means a great deal to me that you can see my neighborhood, Sally, and the other mothers with their babies. You've made my day. Bobby |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
Bobby? I think Felix and Sally are my neighbors… Tammy<333 |
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sewasham Senior Member
since 2006-09-11
Posts 714Oklahoma, USA |
Always enjoy your unique writing Bobby. Good job. Take care and Have fun. Steve |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Tammy<333, Sally and Felix would make good neighbors. The wonderful folks next door to me have six kids. They are all great. That's one thing great about my neighborhood, no one gossips. We all have our own dirty little secrets, so no one bothers to ask, or talk. It's great. Bobby |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Thanks Steve, I'm very pleased that you enjoy my writing. I enjoy your writing too. Bobby |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
I do like this Bobby... I could see Sally sitting on the stoop with all her friends... lovely... love RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Dear RDB, I'm pleased you can see it. It happens every year. You might think we have kids running all over the place here. Yes, we do. They're wonderful. Bobby |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...here we see the moms walking the new kids in the mall...or we hear them while eating at Dennys...James |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
James, That sounds good too. Bobby |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
I love the scene, it is really refreshing and I love the title too. Renewal, Spring, life's highlights. Love, Margherita |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Margherita, Yes, it could happen any day now. I'll be out in front of the house in my foldable lawn chair. It's starting to get warm. Bobby |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
condoms...I swear by them! |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Passing shadows, The girls swear by them too. It's a very Catholic neighborhood. That's just the way we are. Bobby |
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