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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2008-05-12 01:11 PM

I played with the light
in your eye.
Trying to flip,
on, off, on, off.
It never wavered.
I refused to wonder why.

I skipped innocently
(needing more than the superficial feel),
around you
with imagined others.
You laughed and just asked
for a heads up when they became real.

I can do this.
It’s better in so many ways.
Tell me stories of that life;
I give you pieces of mine,
a constant inconsistence.
It’s enough, on most days

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2008-05-12 01:36 PM

"You laughed and just asked
for a heads up when they became real."

Um.

They're real.

and the lady likes stories eh, well you would not believe what I'm doing right now, and have you ever noticed that you can get something done in about the same amount of time it takes for a man to explain why it can't be done?

(that's the short story!)

Bastante I got!

*fk*

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

2 posted 2008-05-12 01:55 PM

Yo Susan Caldwell,

This is very nice. I can't get enough of it.

Bobby

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2008-05-12 03:15 PM

brilliant!

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

4 posted 2008-05-12 03:15 PM

Karen~

I love you total.

*fk*

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

5 posted 2008-05-12 03:17 PM

Thank you Bobby and Dixie!
Very much appreciated.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

6 posted 2008-05-12 03:42 PM

This is unusual work--- a capricious feel but with great depth! Enjoyed immensely!

Art

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

7 posted 2008-05-12 03:49 PM

Art~ thank you for the reply...
you said "capricious"..so allow me to clarify just a bit..

the light in his eye doesn't change in regards to the narrator...the threat of another doesn't bother him....because he doesn't love her more than for a moment here and there...she is trying to convince herself that it is enough.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

8 posted 2008-05-12 04:46 PM

If I tried to pick my favorite part, I would not be able to succeed. This is a great write.

Robert Frazier
Senior Member

since 2003-02-06

Posts 1014

9 posted 2008-05-12 04:52 PM

Yes! This is razor sharp! I've read it again, and again...and I will again.

H,
R

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

10 posted 2008-05-12 04:57 PM

Hi, Susan. Bad choice of word, perhaps. I was trying to say as in words flowing with a certain ease, but not shallow in content. Thanks for the clarification. My swift pen isn't always trusty!

Art

Bob K
Member Elite

since 2007-11-03

Posts 4208

11 posted 2008-05-13 04:09 AM

Dear Susan Caldwell,

                      A charming and painful poem.  A charming and very painful relationship.  You focus on the speaker on the speaker in your comments, but part of the charm of the poem for me is that there's nothing in the poem to indicate that the situation isn't the same in both directions.  We have the sense that the guy is being less than honest with the woman, and we know pretty much for sure that the woman is not being honest with the guy.  For me, that's where the endless repetition of hope and despair can be seen stretching out in a series of barber-shop mirror reflections into infinity.  To have caught that so quickly is hard.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

12 posted 2008-05-13 05:52 AM

ms susieC, how we grow
through the pain
and remove the old dead skinends
to bloom newdayfree again

enjoyed you here

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

13 posted 2008-05-13 06:10 AM

quote:
I can do this.
It’s better in so many ways.
Tell me stories of that life;
I give you pieces of mine,
a constant inconsistence.
It’s enough, on most days

Exquisitely done and containing thoughts that bring new understanding of our psyche.

Love,
Margherita

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

14 posted 2008-05-13 08:54 AM

thank you all

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

15 posted 2008-05-13 09:38 AM

"It’s enough, on most days"
It's all those 'other' days where 'bastante' just doesn't quite cut it, that we find ourselves seeking greater depth and a feeling of permanence.
A poignant, honest heart-felt write, Susan, something you always gift this reader.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

16 posted 2008-05-13 10:40 AM

I was intrigued by this poem enough to look up the meaning of "bastante" lol The definitions that I came up with were ~ "sufficient" and "enough".

I now understand the poem's title and the closing line ~

"It’s enough (bastante), on most days"

Linda

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

17 posted 2008-05-13 11:26 AM

yes Linda...on most days it is enough...but that isn't every day. Thank you for taking the time.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

18 posted 2008-05-13 11:54 AM

Take your bow, Myrtle...

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

19 posted 2008-05-13 01:43 PM

Thank you my Duncan!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

20 posted 2008-05-13 01:57 PM

Not only is the writing excellent...the thought behind the poem, the subject matter, is brilliant.

Interesting that bastante means enough, which is how you feel of the relationship, and the shortened form basta, which also mean enough, has a completely different meaning, specifying THAT'S ENOUGH! when one has taken all one wants to. In your poem, should the day come when you get tired of a relationship being just bastante, you can simply say basta when walking out the door. Two enoughs, two meanings, too good. I'm rambling here....

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

21 posted 2008-05-13 03:42 PM

I think I am done with "basta."

thank you for the rambling..*kiss*

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

22 posted 2008-05-13 09:18 PM

Wonderful writing, Susan. It's saved and, believe me, I'll be reading it again.

Alison

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

23 posted 2008-05-18 10:13 AM

Thank you Alison..

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

24 posted 2008-05-24 07:37 PM

You know, some poems just need to be prominently displayed a bit longer.

Alison

unboundpoetess
Member

since 2008-05-24

Posts 477

25 posted 2008-05-24 08:10 PM

Thank you Alison for bumping this back up. Otherwise I would have missed it, as I am new and this is a dynamic board. It will take some time for me to dig out all of the treasures here.

This work certainly qualifies.
Ms.Caldwell, this was superb.
~H

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