Open Poetry #42 |
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Fox on the run |
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kudanesh Member
since 2007-12-01
Posts 135Peterborough,England |
Fox on the run When he hears the hounds cry he turns round and wonders why Why the shouting why the vibration The humans are wanting confrontation When he sees this terrifying sight He knows its time for him to take flight So of he runs panting hard With the hounds behind him but a few yards The hedges and over fences and in to long grass He’s knows has being chased by a large mass Of hauling hounds that are they’re to kill They’ll follow him through any field and over any hill But he runs and fights to stay alive And be hind the hounds the humans ride They have come to watch the chase They try desperately to keep pace But the fox is fast and he is cunning Does not matter what he try's he can feel them coming The rumble under his feet as they close in on him All he wants is to survive he has committed no sin But they don't care they have come to play It doesn't matter what we say they will have their way So all of this to fill their greed For the sight of blood is it really a need But for this fox it was his day The lucky thing got away Some of them are not so fast And after a while they cannot last So the have to slow And if they slow sadly they have to go So is it right for them to have their joy Another creature slaughtered in a game like a toy |
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© Copyright 2008 Andrew Hull - All Rights Reserved | |||
effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
kudanesh, This would benefit from being broken down into stanzas & also being spellchecked. Overall I like the composition & message contained therein but it could be a whole lot better with a little editing..thses remarks are not aimed at you as criticism, but purely an attempt to help you improve. You are heading in the right direction when this is compared to your previous posts & I look forward to seeing some more of your posts on here... I just noticed before I hit the submit button that you say in your critique box that your splling can be 'iffy' as I have said in your other posts, use the spellchecker! it is in the tools menu at the top of word & will make a big difference to your postings John |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
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