Toerag got to court next day and stood before the judge
When asked to plea, his lawyer had to give ole Toe a nudge
“Not guilty!” Toerag shouted and “I’ll tell you all just why”
“It wasn’t me that done the deed it was some other guy!”

“He’s always picking on me and in fact I see him here”
“It’s that guy right over there, they call him Balladeer”
The judge asked Toe to come up front then looked him in the eye
“You really don’t expect me to believe this silly lie?”

“I swear it’s true your honor, I wouldn’t kid you none”
“You wouldn’t believe all of the things this Balladeer has done”
“Now hold on Mr. Toerag, do you know just why you’re here?”
“No” said Toe, “But I am sure it’s ‘cause of Balladeer”

“He’s caused all of my problems and I’m sure this ones the same”
“Don’t need to look no further, ‘cause he is the one to blame”
“How strange” the judge commented “According to this report”
“You’re here because you are behind in all your child support”

“Aha!” ole Toerag hollered “I knew that it was true”
He looked at Balladeer and said “I’m here because of you”
Toerag smugly told the judge “you’d best give him the fine”
“’Cause Balladeer told me those seven kids ain’t even mine”


Sorry Balladeer, I couldn't resist.