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ILoveTheRain
Member

since 2008-03-02

Posts 157
GA

0 posted 2008-03-07 11:44 PM

Wishing for you and me

One year ago today,
I wish you would have accepted
The offer to be my boyfriend
But I was rejected…

You are my first and only love
I know there is no other
That can make me feel so special
I lost you, I don’t think I could recover

You and I talk on the phone
All through the night
You help me talk through my problems
Making me feel alright

When you hug me
Your arms tight all around
I stand there and hug you back
Not making one sound

I love it when we are alone
I sit and stare into your eyes
They are so beautiful and blue
The thought of not being with you…makes me cry

Now you have
A beautiful baby girl
And I know you to
She means more to you than the world

I now shall accept
That you started a new family
My only wish
Is that...It was you and me

[This message has been edited by ILoveTheRain (03-08-2008 12:42 AM).]

effjayel
Senior Member

since 2007-09-30

Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity

1 posted 2008-03-08 05:30 AM

Way to go Jess, this is really good...it is obviously written from the heart which is where all the best ones hide. You found it, beat it into shape & put it up here...well done.... Now the criticism,

quote:
You are my first and only love..

that bit is wrong only it will take a while before you realise this, his is the first of many hearts you yourself will break, at 16 you have your whole life in front of you. These experiences are what will mould you into the great writer & poet you will one day be....Write On! John

LadyTom
Member

since 2008-02-29

Posts 353
LA, CA

2 posted 2008-03-08 11:34 AM

good. write them out. Beautiful.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2008-03-09 05:16 AM

Nice writing...James

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2008-03-09 11:12 AM

a sign of growth and maturity here

but I know it's painful

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

5 posted 2008-03-09 05:17 PM

Someday when you find real love (and you will) and have your own child you will think back on this time. Save this poem as a marker on the road through life, just one of many markers on a long and sometimes surprising journey.
Ida

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

6 posted 2008-03-10 11:31 AM

Enjoyed the write

ARCTIC WIND

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