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Open Poetry #42
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Winter Passing (#2)
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Winter Passing (#2) |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! 
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Winter Passing (#2) I shall miss … shadow-drenched dreams trifling with snowflakes in the pale forest sunlight the setting sun flaming out with the touch of frozen mere and icy mountain tops the intense clarion purity of evening bells and crisp-sparkling snow in the melancholy moonlight fine ‘book and candle’ memories etched by dancing firelight each winter lover and friend... who will never pass this way again --- b. e. adams (3/5/08) [This message has been edited by secondhanddreampoet (03-05-2008 09:00 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 Bruce E. Adams Jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"shadow-drenched dreams trifling with snowflakes in the pale forest sunlight" Love the idea of 'trifling' dreams! |
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LadyTom Member
since 2008-02-29
Posts 353LA, CA |
My dear poet, how sentimental!!!!How incurable Romanticism!!!! Such a beautiful poem. If we could live in the past, do we still want future? Do we believe future could be better? (You started missing winter when it is still here. ah, you shall Blame yourself for your heart has been warmed up by the dream of young spring.  ) |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. "I shall miss …" Lose this line . . . You're under now obligation to lead anyone by the hand John . |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
the setting sun flaming out with the touch of frozen mere and icy mountain tops............." By far the most lovely Poem you have written! ARCTIC WIND |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
completely beautiful! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Beautifully written, Bruce. Alison |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Beautiful, makes one want to keep spring at bay for a while longer. Ida |
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ArtSolstice Member
since 2007-03-18
Posts 498 |
I respectfully disagree with John. Your opening line, Poet, is unusual for your writes. Very seldom does one see you put yourself in the picture you paint with your words. In landscape painting, the artist often includes at least a single figure to give the viewer a sense of scale, otherwise we might not know how high the trees are, how steep the cliff, or how dramatically wide the river. So too, in this write. By putting yourself in the frame, the reader may get a sense of scale for those things you will miss in proportion to your presence. Greatly enjoyed. |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
For me, this 'write' was an intensely 'personal' suite of impressions rather than what is likely my more typical, humble attempts to express the 'universal'... I have to lean toward Ms. "ArtSolstice's" opinion pursuant to the inclusion of that 1st. line on this one. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. "you put yourself in the picture " That is my problem with the line . . . John . |
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ArtSolstice Member
since 2007-03-18
Posts 498 |
Huan Yi, is it not true that some Zen paintings include people? |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. All, as each, not just one only . . . . |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Secondhanddreampoet, I’m afraid I’m not a winter lover, and winter has never been my friend. Winter is a time of misery and suffering. That said; why will the winter lover and friend never pass that way again? That would be sad. I suppose I don’t fully understand. There is so much I don’t understand. I suspect I’ll be forever in the dark, concerning winter. I do remember kind people, and good times in the winter. That was long ago. Bobby |
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ArtSolstice Member
since 2007-03-18
Posts 498 |
John, I do not understand your post. The real question is, “Is it a good poem?” I believe it is. “Whose woods these are I think I know” “I have been one acquainted with the night” “I heard a fly buzz when I died” “I wake to sleep and take my waking slow” We all know who wrote these. There’s no need to list the authors. There is no objective rule that say one can not use “I”. Pythagoras tells us that “Man is the measure of all things.” Thoreau and Emerson wrote about nature and used the word “I”. They put themselves in the picture. There is always a point of view, which means there is always an “I” (human eye/mind) present. Because we look at the universe from a point of view, a human point of view. Kant says that space and time are human constructs. Poetry and art are also human constructs. One can not take the human element out of it, because there is a self-consciousness about creating art. Art is often about mutability, loss, change, which has to do with a perspective and a self. What is mutable? We are. “I” am. Great poetry is often personal and universal at the same time, and that personal is the “I”. It is valuable because in writing it, one gets to one’s essence, gets to what is true and authentic – the way WindWalker, Midnitesun, and this Poet do. That authentic self is what people go to poetry to experience. Just my humble opinion, respectfully submitted. I still think this is a fine poem, and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
the intense clarion purity of evening bells and crisp-sparkling snow in the melancholy moonlight This just pierced my heart with its beauty. Love. Margherita |
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