Open Poetry #41 |
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Greeneyes![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind ![]() |
{From my Journals; Mixtures of Thought-- Different Pages} to my father ~~ I could not help but think of you and if I was dreaming, why are you so haunting the dark is never sweet it is nothing but absence even on hidden city streets I walked carefully trying to keep sight of the road— {It began to rain} I turned and saw nothing I swear I heard your spirit fly away you were always behind me I wondered if you noticed how empty space can be maybe filled with thought however, I doubt it maybe filled with stones that slide or branches that laugh however, I doubt it I think possibly rain would speak if it knew your language I use to lay awake for hours in September remembering the sea, and the noise of the house{these are simple thoughts; they mean nothing} – wondering how sound filled each space how cold it could be sometimes when you were there yet I find no expression; no sorrow from any distance just the remembrance of fingers running over soft moss I tried to keep sight of the road then stopped to listen to stones embedded in earth and the waves of light emitting from thousands of closed windows realizing we are just strangers now waving goodbye ~~**~~ ~~**~~ Life is a balance of holding on and letting go (KU) |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
A fine ‘write’ and grand ‘read’!... I especially LOVE: “the dark is never sweet it is nothing but absence”; “I think …rain would speak if it knew your language”; “I use to lay awake for hours in September remembering the sea, and the noise of the house… – wondering how sound filled each space”; And, the grand-fine ending: “I tried to keep sight of the road then stopped to listen to stones embedded in earth and the … light … from thousands of closed windows realizing we are just strangers now waving goodbye(!)” a most serious, sustained applause!! ~ |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
L.... ![]() ![]() ![]() each time makes me stronger...but after the fall.... we get back up and move on, because the past is the past and there is no tomorrow if remaining in still waters while the river flows on...~dmsmith~ |
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Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
Nicely expressed with some great lines. |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
indeed beautiful and fine write. A wonderful one for remebering father. Tomtoo |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing...James |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I use to lay awake for hours in September remembering the sea, and the noise of the house{these are simple thoughts; they mean nothing} I beg to differ...those simple thoughts are always the grandest miracles.... beautifully done and it is so good to finally see you in there writing again.... I'm missing you |
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