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Open Poetry #41
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Come Softly Then, The Night
| Open Poetry #41 |
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Come Softly Then, The Night |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989
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This day too shall pass by as will the golden rays that will shine down and warm old bones now chilled to numbness along with this void of feelings that no longer course through veins once alive with the song of life. Only the wind can hear this faint beating of heart as it forges into a day holding more broken promises breaking the will, bending the soul to be held in hollow shadows. I stand alone as the shades of daylight are drawn to close, come softly then, the night with the promise of dreams and the hope of tomorrow. All of us invent ourselves. Some of us just have more imagination than others. -Cher |
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| © Copyright 2007 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
so full of light, this~ ~siiigh |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
love the feel of this...its development and drawing to end..witht he flicker of hope..with the softly quiet understanding... liking what you do these days... a lot. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Belle~ thank you lovie for your support always. Capt, thank you sir for the compliment tho' I'm not sure I am deserving as such. I enjoy writing and find it to be more satisfying when I continue exploring possibilities. A good friend told me once when discussing writing "don't write, just feel. I think that one statement has had more impact on my writing than many of the other factors that have that, and maybe getting older too.  Thank you for your kindness, sir. |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
Very very good. I love the free style and form. If I may offer one small piece of advice I don't think "that will shine down" in the first verse requires the "will." It would be more effective without it. That aside...well done! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Thank you Roysie. I'm not really into the critique thing but thank you for your suggestion. I wasn't exactly sure which way I thought it sounded better, tried it both ways but decided to leave it as is.  |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
I understand perfectly and I was certainly not suggesting that you change this lovely piece. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
No problem, and again, my thanks to you for taking a moment to stop in. |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
Well done Spirit. "Well I wish that you would cheat with someone, 'cause you're like diggin' holes in water and we know that can't be done." |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
hey there Mr Grim, thanks so much! |
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MoonShadow Senior Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 943Dark side of the Moon. |
"come softly then, the night with the promise of dreams and the hope of tomorrow." Whew, Milady... hits me right where my heart is. Thanks... I needed that! MoonShadow . |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Gentle sir, it pleases me that you rested here for a moment in my words and that you enjoyed. Thank you, so very much. |
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