Open Poetry #41 |
Atonement |
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Atonement Is this punishment for some last life and those deeds then done, was I ever possibly someone so unsharing, so unkind as to deserve this present was I blind to compassion, to others pain was that me constantly trying to gain through the misery and misfortune of others? Did I not care for my sisters, and brothers? Atonement, I would gladly make for these atrocities while praying to the heavens Please, do not let that person be me here in this moment, here in the now let my footsteps fall, somehow upon another road; a different trail Don't let me falter... Don't let me fail myself or humanity if there's a next time around let me live assiduously spirited with affettuoso. |
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© Copyright 2007 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved | |||
bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
this is poignant & confessional...and rivetting, my friend~ ~always an inspiration to immerse myself in your writing~
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yes.... so much I could delve into here.. the idea or concept of karma, the present awareness, the future wanting to change, the knowledge an old soul gains by wanting not to be.. in the same mistakes.. well done |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
I am pretty certain of two past lives and they have 'flavored' this one considerably. I m hopeful that at least I am straddling the fence between good and bad this time around and next time I may be able to get that dragging bad leg over the fence...can always hope. This was a great read - thank you Dinah |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Awareness...and a prayer of atonement. A fitting combo. Thoughtful writing! |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
Very thoughtful indeed. I love your style, it's very real. "Well I wish that you would cheat with someone, 'cause you're like diggin' holes in water and we know that can't be done." |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Belle~ your replies always touch me and I thank you so.... It pleases me so, that you enjoy my meager offerings. Hugs. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Capt, thank you for looking deeper into the words and seeing inside of the soul. Your thoughts as always, are so appreciated. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Spirit, I do understand exactly where your coming from. *clink* Here's to the next life. Kahlil, thank you and I am glad that you enjoyed. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Edward, I've never really considered myself to have a style to be honest, but I truly am grateful for your peeking in on my words. Thank you, sir. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
i like your 'style' too its very timely and fits well with the ways of this world today, without being preachy or highbrow, its very accessible to the man /woman on the street good stuff !!! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
See? Guilt over something of nothing is such a heavy "sin"... and yet? You are loved, beloved, and nothing else will do... other than to have our Gentlest of Spirits know when they might even think... that they have faltered, but for a moment. No wonder you are loved! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice read |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Mish, I would never be one to be preachy about anything, heaven knows I would have no right to do so. I'm glad you found it to be something that has something to offer to all of human kind. Its merely an introspection of myself and I thank you kindly for supporting me as you always have hon. Thanks much, and big ole hugs. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Karilea...lawdy woman are you trying to make me smile or what?? Thank you so much for saying so tho' I'm not so certain I am deserving....but you know I love ya. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
vandana, thanks hon and it is good to see you round here again. |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Affectionately we come into this world, affectionately we must live; sharing with all we have. But we are not perfect, so we make mistakes. As my grandpa would say: “Son, live and learn, but live!” Your poem reminded me of the conversations my Grandpa and I had. Love the write. JL |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
JL, thanks and I think maybe your grandpa was a wise man. Thanks! |
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MoonShadow Senior Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 943Dark side of the Moon. |
Would that we could travel again and chose paths least taken, if not have the courage or strength to alter our direction before we die. Wonderful write, Milady. You may not have a style, but you do have style. MoonShadow . |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
understanding this.....i do love your writes from the soul.... ~~**~~ |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
boy, I believe we've all wondered this, how many times in our lives....sound advice, and love the creative way you emit such kindness of life's expressions... thank you |
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teddymarvelle Junior Member
since 2007-08-26
Posts 47california usa |
perhaps we are all paying for the sins of past lives... how many roads huh? |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
introspection is difficult at the very least gentle Donna and this is you, at your best you are well loved |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"affettuoso" -- Donna, I love the use of this in the poem and love the poem --atonement we could all do better with, I think. But, I think, from what I know of you, you are becoming your pen name. *hugs*....jo |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
You are all such a wonderful gang and so gracious in your comments. Thank you, each so very much. after a fall I get back up, |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
My l'il darlin', I have had the same thoughts myself when things get dark and dreary! I want to wrap my 'wings' around you and say that I know that your soul has always been a divine one! ~ and things will get better! Oh, and do the best that you can do in this lifetime so that your next one won't be a living hell!!! ~ lol Just kidding, darlin'! You share so much of yourself through your writing. Everyone who reads your poetry, must surely come away with something. I know that I do. Love you and your Gentle Spirit! Linda |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Donna....you speak of things of heart with the beauty that is ingrained there from life after life. There is no fault in questioning or in asking forgiveness...only fault in not listening to that true self. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Dear ladies, you are so very kind to me. Thank you and big hugs to you both. after a fall I get back up, |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Donna, just the other day my son came up with this karmic theme (moon knots ...) and we did wonder too about what may influence our present life from those preceding. A highly intriguing questioning. You have given it the touch of your beautiful, gentle soul and me too I feel like reaching out to hug you and to whisper in your ear "you have such a beautiful awareness and humbleness, that no matter what I must say that you are on the right Path, the Path of Love and forgiveness". Truly touching! Love and hugs. Margherita |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Ohhhh, I liked this Donna. So many questions and thoughts spinning around to ponder with past lives. I love how you wove the question of kharma through this. Very much enjoyed! Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
You all, are truly to wonderful in your replies. Humble thanks to you each, pip friends. after a fall I get back up, |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I absolutely loved the flow to this piece and the gentle, subtle internal rhyme used within. It is not often a writer is able to gently phase rhyme into a piece so as to catch the reader unaware but in turn smoothen the flow of the piece. You did this remarkably Ruth I am nothing special...and my name will soon be forgotten,but I've loved another with all my heart and soul,and to me,this has always been enough.~N.S |
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