Open Poetry #41 |
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Flower Shop |
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Bronzeage Member
since 2007-07-20
Posts 197![]() |
Black coffee in a handled bowl, morning paper still warm from the press, under the umbrella by the door, waiting for my morning flower show. Seven fifteen and Venus is stepping off her shell, shaking off the sea foam and searching for her keys to unlock the flower shop and put every petal and blossom to shame. Goddess of flowers, they bend and twine to her will and smell sweeter for her touch. In her shop, "May I help you," she says, and I am helpless. It is impossible. to take a flower from her hand and give it to another woman. Type II poet. Its worth the work. |
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© Copyright 2007 Bron Zeage - All Rights Reserved | |||
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I am impressed by this, so much so, I'm sitting here with a giant grin across my face...well done Welcome to the PIP Blue Pages.... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I very much enjoyed this lovely piece of writing. Nicely done, sir. ![]() |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
I noticed that there is some sort of rhyme in it but it is not apparent. I don't know, it might just be how I'm reading it. But I really like that unobvious rhyme. Not only that, but I thought the piece was genius. You're a great storyteller; and that's hard to find in poetry today. Well done sir. "Well I wish that you would cheat with someone, 'cause you're like diggin' holes in water and we know that can't be done." |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...better buy some flowers from her or she will go out of business...James |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
That would be assonance, Ed Grim. Bronzeage? I really like this, and I'd like to learn how to do it, too. It's lovely and not overwhelming at all. Much appreciated the share. ![]() |
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bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
oh oh oh~~~romance is NOT dead...this is brilliant, Bronze~~ |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
... and I smile. So enjoyed! Alison |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Charming and ever so romantic!!!! Your comely ink matches your comely face! ![]() Written with an elegant touch of class. ![]() EA |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Back to the top...James |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Applauding... this is fantastic!!! *S* |
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ChristianSpeaks Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 396Iowa, USA |
You referenced this in an email and I'm sorry I haven't read it until now. This really kicks. Very well constructed AND no unneccesary clutter. Very well done my friend. Dane |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
oh...I want to be her. will you post more? I am in love with your words. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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MoonShadow Senior Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 943Dark side of the Moon. |
Beautiful romance. MoonShadow . |
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