My Monkey Wrench

Today I had some work to do
And just as I was almost through
I went to get my monkey wrench
To give a loosened pipe a cinch

But in the box where it should be
Not a wrench there could I see
So I began to look about
And turned the work bench inside out

I found a tool for stripping wires,
A hammer and a pair of pliers
A staple gun, an awl, a file
A special saw for cutting tile

And then my teeth began to clinch
‘Cause nowhere could I find my wrench
I needed it to do my task
So, “Where’s my wrench?” I had to ask

Of course the kids, they did not know
Where a monkey wrench was apt to go
My wife then watched as her sweetheart
Madly tore the garage apart

She wouldn’t know a monkey wrench
If it gave her little butt a pinch
She grabbed a drill and turned to me
And said as sweet as she could be

“Here it is” she happily beamed
As my eye began to twitch it seemed
But bless her little pointed head
This is what I sweetly said

“No sweetheart, but thanks for looking”
“Why don’t you go check your cooking?”
I thought a stroke was imminent
As back inside the house she went

I dumped my toolbox on the ground
And spread the items all around
I looked in the box again to see
If the wrench was hiding there from me

I was just about to have a fit
When in my neighbor walked with it
“I forgot to bring this back to you,
I laid it down when I was through”

He doesn’t know to this very day
Why every time I always say
When something’s missing anymore
“Check with the S.O.B. next door”