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Open Poetry #41
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shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows

0 posted 2008-01-21 07:59 AM


If you can’t hear
The people’s cry
For justice
Who do you think is deaf?

You may look
But you don’t really see
You see a crutch, a wheelchair or a disease
Because you choose not to see inside

If you choose not to see
The soul
Only the disability
Who do you think is blind?

You don’t see the determination
The passion for living
Or the capacity for love
For once, try and open your eyes

If we don’t stand up
For the rights
Of everyone else
Who do you think is crippled?

Look into their world
See the many pieces of their heart
They’re a complete person
Just like you

Make the right choice
And take a stand

[&] she's a blood broken rose

© Copyright 2008 Tori - All Rights Reserved
Bobby Jordan
Member
since 2007-08-13
Posts 491
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-01-21 09:21 AM


Shattered-smiles,

The idea is there.  However, I'd avoid starting each line with a cap.  You might also work on punctuation.  That would make it easier to understand.

Bobby


Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2008-01-21 10:52 AM


The world would be a much better place if there were more compassionate people like yourself, in it.

You are one who sees, feels ~ and cares.

I appreciate the beauty of your message.

Giving you a warm, welcoming pip hug,

Love & Light,
EA



TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
3 posted 2008-01-21 08:59 PM


enjoyed. It is good.

a warm welcome to PIPtalk and you may join the discussion of life in other forums.
Tom

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
4 posted 2008-01-22 07:56 PM


Welcome to the mystic odyssey...across the fine blue 'poetic sands' of "P.I.P.-land!"

I'm always glad to see folks doing effective 'social impact/conscience' writes!

applause!!

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
5 posted 2008-01-22 08:03 PM



That is a very thought provoking write, it made me stop and think, well done

Lindsay

shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows
6 posted 2008-01-22 09:11 PM


Thanx everyone.  I will definatly take your advice Bobby Jordan and avoid starting each line with a capital and working on my punctuation.  Thanx for the advice and comments.  I really do wish the world would be as welcoming to disabled people as they are to non disabled people.  It always puts tears in my eyes when people are kind to other people.  It's such a wonderful thing to see.
midnightdreamer
Member
since 2008-02-03
Posts 309
Roy,ut
7 posted 2008-02-28 07:44 PM


great poem but sad.
midnightdreamer

black beautiful eyes looking back at me telling me, no fear will show.

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