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A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

0 posted 2008-01-09 12:26 PM

She was all but eight,
hair so messy,
never straight,

Poor as poor could be,
doing chores,
for money,

From one house to another,
passed around,
without sister or brother,

Working, cooking, cleaning,
still no love,
life without meaning,

Then her world changed,
one day,
he stood,

All six feet of him
tall, handsome,
black hair,

It must have been,
those green eyes,
that got her,

She met him there,
the love of her life,
at the boarding house,

Though the years,
she told me,
this story,

She wanted to write,
but never did,
so she writes,

Through me,
her grandaughter,
left to tell,

her story of an orphan,
looking for love,
and she found it,

within his arms,
having six children,
and thirty some grandchildren.

God blessed her,
with love all around,
her love continues...

till this day,
we still gather,
hugging and loving,

Twice a year,
the tradition,
at summer,

Chistmas home,
where they lived,
but their love....

lives on....

You know you're in love, when you can't fall asleep,because reality is finally better than your dream~Dr.Seuss

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2008-01-09 12:50 PM

This is a really nice narrative style poem, and like a good narrator, you know that the secret to happy endings is knowing when to stop telling the story.

I'm only a little put off by the centering--that makes a nice presentation, but I think this would fare well without. A little more description maybe? Because if I can, I will always ask for more.

Loved the message of hope!