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Open Poetry #41
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Intoxication
| Open Poetry #41 |
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Intoxication |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines 
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Intoxication It doesn't really matter much, I've said this often before. The more I try to do my best it's undone by words of ignore. This limbo I'm living keeps holding me back bringing me down further still, spending the eve of the first of the year in emergency, not of my will. There I waited for hours on end, not knowing the outcome of sight. Finally moved to a room on third floor his face swollen, stitched eyes both closed tight. Hasn't mattered to him to warn about drink. Hasn't mattered to him until now. Two broken ribs, pained by it all as he moaned from each move they'd allow. It was coming, some day, I knew it would be because they think they're immune. Now I wait once more to see what is what of his health, and the costs coming soon. I'm worn and I'm tired of the "mothering" me when a marriage should be more than that. What can you say 'cept his bottom has come and I'm not sure just where I am "at". M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." |
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| © Copyright 2008 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Oh, dear Maureen, this hurts so much! A Mother's heart has to endure so much pain sometimes. But it seems children have to learn on their own skin the truth of what parents teach and try to transmit with their experience and ... infinite love. May this represent a lesson learned for him. May your heart be constantly nurtured by divine love, so that it can continue to give, to give ... Sigh. Love and may the New Year bring serenity. Margherita  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I have no children~~ it's my husband...who lives behind the house in the barn loft apartment (long story) but thanks M |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Maureen, I can see what "mothering" meant. The pain is no doubt also mixed with anger, even more in this case. May this be a healing year. Love and hugs. Margherita |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Certainly a bad start to the new year, but beautifully penned nonetheless. Happy New Year hugssss to you, my friend. I bought my share of mistakes so I might see some interest. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
So sorry, Maureen. I have lived with that problem on so many levels and I know hqw hard it can be. Hope things get better for you. Ida |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
M, So sorry your New Year started so badly, especially as it marks an important moment in your life...We both know where you are at, you are at the bottom of that deep well of despair with the Loft Dweller at your side. The BIG difference is, You know where you are & need only to look up to see the daylight and where you strive to be, at the top of the tunnel in the sunshine with a summer breeze on your face......He does not know either where he is or how to get out. (Actually he does, and she is stood beside him) So 'tis time he made some life decisions of his own and not rely on you because you are going to be waaaa--y too busy from here on in. Aim high M, fire your arrow of hope at the stars, you can only miss and might just hit the moon....it CAN only get better from here on in. We must all believe that or there would be no point to any of what we go through each day ..... My Very Best To You, John |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow M, I was hoping maybe last night wouldn't have turned out like that, well at least it didn't for me. I was in bed by midnight, trying to ward off evil 'spirits' of my own and successfully I may add  it's hard to say 'no' sometimes but when certain things are on the line, saying 'no' and sticking to it is all that really matters. Happy New Year M and I hope this one will be better for us...it seems we are both coming to some revelations in a new light shining  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I guess I should be thankful he only hurt himself and a guard rail rather than another person or family. And I am hopeful that he will not be drinking after this, as he will probably go through detox during his hospital stay. Thank you friends, for reading and responding...I am too depressed to do much else other than worry for now. M |
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Clang Member
since 2005-12-15
Posts 222 |
Good luck to you. It's hard to love and live with someone who struggles with addiction. It seems like it permeates every aspect of life when it is present. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sometimes, m'dear, you just have to take that step forward. We both know what I'm saying. Hugging you hard. May you find all of the necessary, needful steps to climb this year, that belong only to you. |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Oh my gosh! Maureen, I hope for your sake, he has learned and won't drink anymore. Maybe, just maybe, he will get the help he needs, and have the want to, to stop drinking. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
You have your hands full, with this scenario. Not the way to ring in a new year. My thoughts are with you, and hopes for your emotional as well as physical strength and well being. Sadly, some never do get the moderation message, M. |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
I know its no fun , gone through similar incidents with my son Hope |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
We'll start again from today...Happy New Year...James |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Sorry to read this, M. I hope your new year has only stumbled out of the gate and improves soon. |
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BugBuggy Member
since 2005-12-19
Posts 130michigan |
oh my...you make us all feel that pain BugBuggy |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Thank you all again. At the moment he is back there in his loft in severe pain unable to do much except complain amd take it all verbally out on me. I hope I can live through it all. M |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Dear Maureen "I'm worn and I'm tired of the "mothering" me when a marriage should be more than that." I understand this pain. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Thanks Martie for taking the time to read and respond. I've had to curtail my working right now to make sure he is okay back there, medicines, feeding him, cleaning out the place, dumping the alcohol. Then comes all the insurance contacts, drs and rehab appointments etc. and I am sure loss of his license, car's totalled...and whatever else I will have to take care of before I can continue on with my own life. People should learn from this, firstly not to drive under the influence (if drinking at all) and secondly wear a seatbelt. It affects a lot more people than just the one who drinks. M |
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