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Open Poetry #41
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Just another Pete
Member
since 2007-12-06
Posts 74
Scotland

0 posted 2007-12-08 11:49 AM


She comes to my table at sunset,
pours one glass of wine,
another of water.

Offering neither
she looks at my beer;
"Iris."

I notice her boot,
which is wet,
"Step in a puddle?"

"It's part of my nature."
and absently fingers
the brooch on her jacket,

"Looks old?"
I signal a refill,
she sips from each glass.

"It's a feather,
bordered by lillies,
had it forever."

"That pendant?"
"Caduceus."
"Ah, you're a Postie."

I empty my glass
as the refill arrives.
"In a way."

She sips, same as last time.
"Why d'you do that,
the thing with the glasses?"

"Dilution...
dissappointment's
the daughter of excess."

I splutter, gawp back
with suds on my nose,
as she asks,

"Are you ready?"
"For what?"
"Depends who you are."

© Copyright 2007 Just another Pete - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2007-12-08 06:32 PM


Ingriguing write. You did a great job, describing intemperance very efficiently!

Love,
Margherita

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2007-12-08 07:54 PM


I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS.

*beaming atchoo*

Thank you showing us a whole nudder approach to this, and I am seriously hoping your example opens some creative doors for those who felt stymied by what I meant to be an easy and fun foray--and oh, you GO, Pete!

""Dilution...
dissappointment's
the daughter of excess.""

Thank you sooooo much--I was really hoping for something like this!

Can I possibly get any more exuberant?

Oh yeah, I can. But I'll spare ya.



*thank you*


TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
3 posted 2007-12-08 08:43 PM


Wonderful poem. Enjoyed. And the last S is truly philosophical.

Welcome to the wonderful place  PIPtalk

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2007-12-08 09:08 PM


A very interesting Challenge!

ARCTIC WIND

Angel4aKing
Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372
USA
5 posted 2007-12-09 12:13 PM


I will take that challenge if you don't mind...keep your eye out I can't promise a delivery date....

~~~kingsangel~~~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2007-12-09 12:15 PM


cool! There's a new card and challenge posted, but there's no rules, no deadlines, so go for it!

Yay! Thanks Pete!

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2007-12-09 01:42 AM


Fabulous and creative!  Is this the first I've read of you?  Well, not anymore.....*smiles*....jo
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
8 posted 2007-12-10 06:55 PM




I'm a sucker for a story. Love this Got any good bedtime stories? I could use a few to help me fall asleep.

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Just another Pete
Member
since 2007-12-06
Posts 74
Scotland
9 posted 2007-12-11 02:29 PM


Thanks all for the kind comments
pete

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