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Open Poetry #41
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SarBear
Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205
Massachusetts

0 posted 2007-11-19 11:37 PM


Every piece of me hurts because I know you are no longer there,
and that maybe you no longer care.
Such a short time to feel so much,
why were we in such a rush?
I can't help the pain that's running through my body,
or the tears that frequently fall.
I try to be so strong as I think of what went wrong.
I had hoped you could change,
but you will always be the same,
addicted to the one thing that will push us farther and farther away.
When I hear your name my heart sinks a thousand feet
because I'm thinking about what could have been,
what we had.
Time is racing but it feels like every second is a day,
my head is pounding and i'm praying that you'll call,
even if you were to say nothing at all.
Looking at the stars,
beautiful and distant,
they remind me of you just like everything else I see.
My hearts still beating but does it matter anymore?
So susceptible to everything,
getting weaker with every wound,
I wonder how I let this happen,
how could I have let you in,
when I knew that of course it would have to end.
I just hope your happy,
I'm sorry I couldn't be the one to help you change,
I see the decision you made,
and I realize you didn't feel this way,
and that you will always be the same.

© Copyright 2007 Sara Connolly - All Rights Reserved
Gumpy
Member
since 2007-11-06
Posts 143
Canada
1 posted 2007-11-20 12:37 PM


What a sad, but great poem.
I really feel this one.
Gumpy


How is it that after your heart is ripped out, you feel so much?

oceanvu2
Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA
2 posted 2007-11-20 03:28 AM


Powerful theme and moments of great expression.  How might you tighten this up to make it "killer?"  

Best, Jim

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
3 posted 2007-11-20 06:23 AM


Nice writing...having experienced many of these same emotions, I have come to the understanding that if you can care for yourself, whether or not the other person cares for you becomes less important...and you will be allright no matter the outcome...and yes it does involve letting go...James
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
4 posted 2007-11-20 09:08 AM


and that summed up my first marriage perfectly...

tough when they choose something over us...makes us feel so small and insignificant.  

oh I know...I know.

Fantastic telling of self.  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

ladylisa
Member
since 2007-04-29
Posts 342
Florida USA
5 posted 2007-11-20 10:39 AM


Your words are so very true! Some people change throughout their lives and evolve into wonderful beings.  Others never change, no matter what.  Really enjoyed this poem.  lisa
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2007-11-21 01:54 AM


I haven't seen you around in ages! Glad to see you back. Sorry to see such a sad poem. It sounds as though you have been going through a difficult time in your life.

"When I hear your name my heart sinks a thousand feet
because I'm thinking about what could have been,
what we had."

~ Commiserating with you...

Giving you a warm, healing, welcome-back hug,

EA

SarBear
Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205
Massachusetts
7 posted 2007-11-21 12:55 PM


Yes, it's been a while! I haven't had anything to write about! Thank you everyone for your comments. They are appreciated.
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