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Open Poetry #41

My First Sonnet

Brian23
Member

since 2007-11-03

Posts 73
Belfast, Ireland

0 posted 2007-11-03 02:32 PM

Thou the beholder of a form so fine
Ye found me dead without reason
Pass me a cup of that subtle wine
Then I shall commit high treason
Towards the gods I shall head
Choking on death with every stride
Thy Sword shall be committed to red
I shall stop not until one has truly died
Keep hold of that precious seed
So it may see more suns than I
Upon him came death as he decreed
But along with him the king did die
Now I can live for many years free
With my young son alongside me

My attempt at a sonnet

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

1 posted 2007-11-03 04:21 PM

So sad and beautiful.
Thank you for sharing your first with us.

And -- welcome to PiP.

Alison

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

2 posted 2007-11-04 01:20 AM

welcome Brian

I enjoyed the read very much

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

3 posted 2007-11-04 06:29 AM

Brian... welcome to our blue pages.. I hope to read more of your work.. I enjoyed your first post here.. RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2007-11-06 01:41 PM

First attempts are always welcome, Brian.
Welcome to Passions! I hope you "flower"
within the blue halls, for your words truly
have some passion burning beneath them.

Please! Check your email for a Very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

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