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Open Poetry #41
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I'll
| Open Poetry #41 |
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I'll |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA 
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I'll I’ll make you smile, your temper rile For horns from my head grow. I’ll gently wile and deftly pile then throw a ball of snow. I’ll take your hand and lead the way To places you’ve not been. I’ll shed a tear and whisper “hey”. I’m not your man of men. I’ll stand there still and watch your eyes As glimmers come and go. I’ll climb that hill far to the skies And pinch your dainty toe. And when I stop to let you hear The nothings that I leave. I’ll take my hand to wipe that tear for IN YOU dear, I DO believe. [This message has been edited by Magnus (07-22-2007 08:12 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
For me, it takes a man among men, to be able to show such tenderness, love, and compassion. Barry, yer da man!  Love to you, m'friend, Linda  |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Tanx Linda, you R a sweetie!!! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
meter isn't perfect, too many "smiles" and we're workin' on it...... It sounds good but doesn't count right....and the beginning could catch one's eye a little better than it does to me....There, go for it... |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
She shakes her head... Mag?... There are never TOO MANY smiles. Heart warming write. |
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StormyB Junior Member
since 2007-07-18
Posts 42Ohio Usa |
I loved it. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
will you?  |
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Bronzeage Member
since 2007-07-20
Posts 197 |
This is an interesting write. The tone seems to take a quick shift between S2 and S3 S1 starts with a Christ image. If it were horns instead of thorns, the metaphor would seem devilish. This would be a better lead into playful toe counting. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I agree with horns versus thorns....Horns is really what I meant, but I did not put it on the sheet of paper....Duhhh! Thanx for your thoughts and critique, much appreciated...and I don't bite!! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I liked this, all the way to the last line. But...check your mail! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
ahh Barry you sure know how to do it! love it! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Smiling AT you.... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You sound like someone wonderful to be around... this world needs more smiles! *S* (as do most hearts *G*) I thoroughly enjoyed! *S* |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Barry, You are indeed a man to admire. I really like how your words are assembled on the page and the romantic images they inspire in my mind. What a blessing you are to these blue pages. Thanks a ton.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
To all, thanx bunches...I am but a simple man, a human who loves greatly and has a very tender heart. |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Gosh...How great it is to read your work again! I have to say, smiles have been few for me lately, but this lovely piece brought the smile back. Thanks Barry! |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
haha  I enjoyed this read! "and pinch your dainty toe..."? lol... g "...Never regret anything that made you smile..." |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
~Grin at G... Must be a guy thing. This was beautiful then, and hit the spot now. Never too many smiles. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
one of your best writes |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Always nice to have someone that believes in you...James |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Magnus- A joy to read ARCTIC WIND |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
This is kind of different for you...rather whimsical feel about it, and I like it. Put a smile on my face, you did, BJ! *hugs*....jo |
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