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funkplaystheblues
New Member

since 2007-01-10

Posts 1

0 posted 2007-01-10 04:23 AM

I'm new here but I'm really liking what I see.
I like to write sometimes when the moment moves me. Here's one of my more recent poems.I'd really like it if I could get some input. I kinda wabt to know if its any good.
--------------------------------------
I'm so sick of writing poems
Disguise as hate letters
Addressed to a love song
I secretly admire
Critisizing the lyrics
Dissing the tone
Really just to get down on paper
The genius of it all
Without feeling suckered by love
It's exausting
And really a little pathetic
To be so moved by something that doesn't affect you
That you have to mindless jot down your every emotion on the subject
Give or give a few
Just to keep your hands from shaking
But never being completely stilled
For there's still the want
To take back the few lines you gave
Because you know that
That oh so familar
Feeling of stupidity
Is bound to fall on you
At a later viewing of your thoughts
For you know the real emotion behind your brutish words
Was not hatred
But the bitterness that only confusion, fate, and love bring
And you'd hate to admit
That you could be so control
By things you have yet to experience

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

1 posted 2007-01-10 05:23 AM

well first up, let me say WELCOME to PIP, you will love it here... and I really enjoyed reading your first piece...I hope to read more of you

RDB

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2007-01-10 07:22 AM

welcome to Passions

thanks for sharing this...somehow I can relate to it

I like it a lot

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

3 posted 2007-01-10 11:05 PM

Welcome to Passions first off, and secondly I liked the message in your first post. More often than not the things we can not control create a fear that keeps us from doing so many things we should have, could have, and would have.

Jason Lyle
Senior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 1438
With my darkling

4 posted 2007-01-11 12:33 PM

Welcome, and a good entrance at that.Hope you find a good home here.

Jason

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