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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2007-07-10 07:26 AM

I like the way
my hair curls round
my wrist
as though it were

some friendly

wish
clasping nearly wet
as I
like it
as I am the eye.

I am it:

I do submit:

curling in a curlicue
like a fish dead on one side
staring at you
staring blue
circles
trombone like it is
dead on one side
like a fish

frozen

grommets
like the truth
of sun
of sonnets
as if they
were done
in iambic pentameter:
wishing whining more of her

damned and distillationed wings
spattering the dancing sun
in a disk played on the park

whirling girly-gish-ma-h'yon--

dervished damned solidity
as if the war was done and won

to the best absurd.

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

1 posted 2007-07-10 01:18 PM

I have to say that this is a marvelous piece.
no matter what you mean, it is a true poem. I read several times.

I will come back to read it again.

enjoyed very much

have a wonderful day, dear Lady SB

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

2 posted 2007-07-10 03:06 PM

a wish and a dead fish...

probably the story of my life...

loved it Karen.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

3 posted 2007-07-11 06:21 PM

I loved reading this out loud. Again and again.

A

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2007-07-11 06:29 PM

Thanks to the three of you, I really didn't expect too much of this one, as it was written for a friend who doesn't even read here.

But thanks aziza, as it was meant to be read out loud.

I like to play with words and sound a lot.

Love to all.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

5 posted 2007-07-11 06:55 PM

there is as always a mystery behind the visions you present...and I love the challenge of them....their beauty and the feelings you give the reader....

awesome writing lady poetess

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

6 posted 2007-07-12 08:06 PM

Karen
I read everything you write
with a green eye

my eye is green again
I love the way you play
with words and sounds

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2007-07-12 09:14 PM

very cool piece

divine chaos
Senior Member

since 2006-07-09

Posts 617
dancing 'neath the moon

8 posted 2007-07-14 08:23 AM

I love the way you play with words,
when I read you, I can see them
dancing 'round me

~sheli

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

9 posted 2007-07-15 04:03 AM

I could tell you were playing with words and sound here; you do that so well...liked the rhythm here, too. I think you experiment worked because I felt a little dizzy at the end...not kidding. (Of course, it's late and I'm pretty easy to spin around at 3 am in the morning *grins*.) I wish that darn war was over, too. *hugs*.....jojo

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

10 posted 2007-11-05 04:04 PM

funky title
lol

ARCTIC WIND

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

11 posted 2010-04-24 03:03 PM

Once more around.

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