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Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2007-06-29 01:24 PM

My emotions word
Scrawled that crawl across paper
Then cast to the wind

This is what the English speaking (and others also) call a Haiku.
Written with lines of 5 feet, 7 feet, 5 feet; without a set rhyme.
Since the form was not first devised for English, it suffers from the lacking of the language, where we use feet or syllables, the original was a character or 5 Characters, 7 Characters, 5 Characters.
Using the idea of a thought being a character (which also fails to capture the true form) the above might be rewritten with greater fullness.

(My) (Emotion) (expressed) (by) (word)
(Scrawled) (Creeping) (caught) (by) (paper) (from) (pen)
(escape) (cast) (on) (Swift) (winds)

Basically the Same,
Yet the feel is different.

Another aspect of the Haiku, was the idea that it might be responded to in kind, with a Haiku of responding theme.

Windblown paper trash
Recovered from the gutter
With words to treasure

A recent and very English modification is the rhyming link of the stanzas of the Haiku.

Gloom

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

1 posted 2007-06-29 01:36 PM

Haiku is one of my favorite forms. Enjoyed your thoughts here.

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

2 posted 2007-06-30 08:24 PM

hey teach glad you are back
hope you are better
missed you

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2007-07-02 07:38 PM

and a belated Happy Birthday to you, too

M

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

4 posted 2007-07-03 07:19 AM

Windblown paper trash
Recovered from the gutter
With words to treasure

Hiaku, senru, whatever... all I know is the words are beautiful

Ruth

I am nothing special...and my name will soon be forgotten,but I've loved another with all my heart and soul,and to me,this has always been enough.~N.S

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

5 posted 2007-07-03 02:32 PM

Thank you all for the comments

Gloom

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