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Open Poetry #40
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2007-06-25 11:21 AM


.


Already
At first light
Five small
Gray squirrels
Scampering
On the lawns

A robin
With bright crest
Sings his song
In a tall oak tree

Mist rises
From the street
Somehow all the cars
In the parking lot
As if asleep

Wisps of clouds
The snowy moon
A smell of pine
In the still blue air

Summer flowers
On wooden balconies . . .
And you
Not here


.

© Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
1 posted 2007-06-25 01:15 PM


In the early morning one sings such a sad song, how does one live through the rest of the day?

beautiful poem as always



Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
2 posted 2007-06-25 09:00 PM


.

And what makes you think
this a sad poem
and not a celebration?

.


Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
3 posted 2007-06-25 09:14 PM


"And you
Not here"

every thing is now beautiful, something(as important as it worths mentioning and in the last verse) is not there. kind of a deep sigh. and you know that you intend or are habitual to emphasis the feelings at the ending.

I will try to find some of your poems if you do not remember.  
one was about the memorial day parade."no one hold his hand."
another was a party, she signed 'only you are not here".

For balance the whole poem or for the stirring the spirit of the poem, I read them with a kind of sadness.

That was how I felt.

[This message has been edited by Drauntz (06-26-2007 12:23 AM).]

dingusjr
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri
4 posted 2007-06-26 01:47 PM


Always enjoy your short poems...that say SO MUCH..in so few words.
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
5 posted 2007-06-27 12:10 PM


John, I love the visuals here.. very much enjoyed as always!  RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Gifted
Member
since 2007-06-26
Posts 140
Caribbean
6 posted 2007-06-27 12:20 PM


Wow.  Very nice.  I like the imagery in this poem and the way you got me to visualize everything.  It flowed nicely.  Excellent work.  You made Monday, which is like the most boring the for me, into something worth looking forward to.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
  Blessings and Guidance

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