Open Poetry #40 |
A Dark Morning |
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
a Dark morning cawing sounds onset, against summer blue they land, ponderous, black heavyweights, feathered harbingers [of death] spearing tang open from green apples on young trees bending branches of limbs still thin enough that their tarsus wrap touching nail to nail the dwarf tree resembling a rookery, one soul miniature mockery of its cousins divebombing, his territory terrorized and conquered momentarily so I go to snapclap my hands, resembling buckshot sound advancing on the blackness they wing off only to perform highwire exploits, talking back all the while to the trespasser on two limbs who cannot fly snapclapping, echoes bouncing off doorways and back again, main and side streets empty as churchgoers still sleep, blankets gripped and pulled over tousled heads just black baggage of thievery and I they wing off but the miniatures stay behind, reclaiming, regrouping, swinging down on lighter fluff to bring their fledglings from the bushes to feed on fallen green apples |
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© Copyright 2007 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I can see you out there, shooing them... I love how you "tell" your poems |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
You sure have a way with words, Karilea. |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
Takes me back to September of 1965. How lonely and homesick I was, having never been away from home before. before. It felt so drab and at times frightening. I remember the sound of what I was told were bluejays, I could hear them caw caw cawing from wherever it was they were. I thought they sounded like the gulls I heard at the sea shore. Caw ... Caw ... caw ... just hearing or even thinking about that bluejay sound reminds me ... makes me feel sad and gloomy. At the time, I could hear enough to tell the different calls of birds, but just some of them. I was told about and learned the call of a nasty one called a cowbird, which has the nasty habit of taking over another's nest, sitting on the eggs, then making a quick meal of the small fry when they hatch. Boy, I thought only humans did stuff like that! I could easily hear flocks of birds as they passed, and in what direction. I could hear the distant whistles of passing trains, and wondered where it was the trains were going. Had I been armed with more than a water pistol, I might have even taken a shot at them. (You know how ten-yer-olds think). On summer vacation, if I woke early enough, I would listen out the window in wonder as the night sounds gradually became day sounds, the activity from the other houses, opening and closing doors, cars pulling out of driveways, the sounds of the garbage truck on its rounds. There was this bird I heard every morning just out the window ... I don't know what kind of bird it was. I can still whistle his song I heard 40 years ago. (whistles) but that won't work on Passions. Now I live in an apartment and in order to hear anything I have to specifically set up for it. I don't know if there are any birds here, or anything. Just parked cars. I wish I had your ability to add colors and visuals to your writes. J |
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MIcountrygirl79 Junior Member
since 2007-06-13
Posts 16Michigan, USA |
Thoroughly enjoyed! After this morning, I'm thinking of writing one about shooting Blue Jays with buckshot! Not very poetic, though, is it? Oh well, I think you cornered the market on birds anyway! Elizabeth |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
this 'write' is a most fine 'impressionistic slice' of 'Sunshine' for my 'dark morning'! sustained applause!! |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
"snapclapping, echoes bouncing off doorways and back again, main and side streets empty as churchgoers still sleep, blankets gripped and pulled over tousled heads" You’ve made a short story come to life. Pure vision, not television. Beautiful story. I hope you have more like this one. JL "The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers." |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Wow. Lush with sensory gems. I adore this and feel it's not dark but commanding of attention and balanced with beautiful contrasts. Brava! Poetess. Love, reg |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
a treat to read this afternoon |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
How lovely to have watched you fully mature as a poet into this. Beautiful imagery dear friend...it was if it were played out before my very eyes. BTW...how's book #2 coming? Ruth |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Sunshine lady, you always paint a picture with your words. I can see the scene before my eyes, as I read your words. Good to read you again. Hugs, Ethel |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
very beautiful. every words was quietly talking . enjoyed |
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Moonkist Member
since 2006-09-29
Posts 197Pennsylvania |
Nice feelings and cool visuals. Birds and nature rule ! Oh, gimme a hammock! Thanks, moonkist |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
I was there in that dark morning "just black baggage of thievery and I" I heard you snapclapping what a wonderful sound... snapclapping |
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