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Open Poetry #40

Al four point two

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2007-06-12 04:42 PM

He wore a dirty rag
And drank from an old brown bag
That held a bottle of gin,
As he stumbled down the street
On tired festering feet
(Couldn’t feel their condition).

His reflection of the window
Darkened by the shadow
Allowed him to see his form;
Red eyes in a creased face,
Just a fleshy rag from no place;
A man well used and over worn.

He drank the last swallow
From his cheep gin bottle
Then with it
Smashed the window
Then done it
Returned to shadow.

Gloom

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

1 posted 2007-06-12 05:00 PM

This is good gloomy. so good and well said. I got the picture. and this is wonderful poem.

but this is tooo much. so very dark.

enjoyed

beautiful dark poem again.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2007-06-12 06:15 PM

A good write to discourage drinking...James

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2007-06-12 09:41 PM

I've smashed a reflection a time or two myself

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

4 posted 2007-06-14 06:43 AM

He wore a dirty rag
And drank from an old brown bag
That held a bottle of gin,
As he stumbled down the street
On tired festering feet
(Couldn’t feel their condition).

I've seen too much of this myself and the damage it causes to more than just the one drinking~~ good to read your gloominess...
M

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