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Open Poetry #40

BREATHING PATTERN

shirtless
Member

since 2006-04-29

Posts 359

0 posted 2007-06-08 12:44 PM

BREATHING PATTERN

the epileptic
twitch
of leaves
in the lungless
panting
of wind

flamenco
leaves
twirling
in the chaotic
control
that creates
a wind
beneath
their dresses

I close my eyes
and against the sky
of my eyelids
the leaves
are countless
umbrellas
turned
inside out

I feel
my breath

I inhale
a salesman
who knocks
upon my poverty

I inhale
a lover
who leaves
in the morning

I inhale
a dream
and exhale
a memory

I inhale
ice
and exhale
snow

I inhale
snow
and exhale
rain

I inhale
rain
and exhale
dew

I inhale
dew
and exhale
mist

I inhale
mist
and exhale
air

the air
inhales
itself

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

1 posted 2007-06-08 01:07 PM

This very good poem and I like the way you use inhale and exhale
beautiful

"I inhale
a dream
and exhale
a memory"..... wonderful

enjoyed

RogueandPoet
Member

since 2007-06-04

Posts 126
Oregon

2 posted 2007-06-08 01:13 PM

I hope this doesn't sound odd but this poem read like two different poems for me. What's cool is that I liked both of them.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

3 posted 2007-06-08 01:13 PM

yes, I agree, adding, what a marvelous way to tell someone your nature's assistant

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

4 posted 2007-06-09 02:45 AM

I inhale
a dream
and exhale
a memory

Anthony, I like your words RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

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