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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2007-05-29 06:05 PM



They wheeled LongJohn in - poor fellow was a bloody mess
An accident or victim of assult was many's guess.
They took him to Emergency to stop the bleeding fast
And no one could be sure low long the ragged fool would last.

He finally got a bed with IV's sticking in his arm.
Some blankets covered head to toe to keep his body warm.
Hooked up to several monitors he lay there very still
Alive but with a broken spirit that had lost its will.

He heard a voice from his left side that said, "LongJohn! You, too?"
He squinted in the darkness and said, "Toerag? Is that you?"
"It's me, old friend", Toerag replied. "Pray tell, what brought you here?
Don't tell me you were dumb enough to fight with Balladeer!"

"How'd you know that?" said LongJohn. Toe said, "Wasn't very hard.
There's only one way to wind up here in the Balladeer ward!
There's Kevin in the corner - Larry C's right over here,
All victims of the foolish act to take on Balladeer!"

"I almost had him", LongJohn said. "I thought I had him down,
But when they found me I was laying bloody on the ground.
Don't even know what happened - words like daggers came my way
And cut me down like kindling wood...that's all that I can say."

"I know", Toe smiled and shook his head quite understandingly.
"That's the same thing he did to the fellers there and me.
We all thought we could bring him down - God knows how hard we tried
But here we lie in traction with a bedpan by our side."

"Well, hey, we've got to organize when we get out of here..
Combine our force to beat the Devil out of Balladeer!
Kevin has the rhyme..charisma's Larry's strong forte
I have got the brains and you...well, Toe, what can I say?"

Well, that's just what they did. Their wounds all healed within time
And they set out with gusto to commit the perfect crime.
It wasn't easy...nations gave their praise to Balladeer.
He dined with presidents - TIME made him their Man of the Year.

The deer replaced the eagle as the symbol of our land
And "Hail the Deer" was played at football games by marching bands.
He lunched with movie stars...Will Buckley called him for advice
Proud parents named their newborn Deer in homage..ain't that nice?

After months of evil planning on one fateful night
The villians cornered Balladeer and had him in their sights.
Surrounding him they circled slowly looking for some fear
But only saw a small grin on the face of Balladeer.

Larry was the first...one minute there...next minute gone!
The others didn't know what happened. What was going on?
The Kevin disappeared from sight! Where did Kevin go?
That only left the sailor and the retard known as Toe.

Toerag said, "Let's charge him! You go left and I'll go right!"
Then, like a callgirl's virtue, Toerag disappeared from sight!
LongJohn trembled in his boots - his face was filled with fear
But there could be no mercy from the wrath of Balladeer.

They all four met in Heaven, right there at the pearly gate
Shivering in fear to know what was to be their fate
But they were ushered in with smiles by angels, happily
And they were told they would be there throughout eternity.

"Hey, this ain't bad!" Toerag exclaimed. "I kinda like it here!
I'll take this place and leave behind that goofball Balladeer.
These angel gals are pretty cute with bodies heavenly.
I'm sure they'll shed their halos for a silver-tongue like me!"

They were told they had to meet God for their final interview
And stood up as they saw His presence coming into view
But, as He walked up to them, Toerag's features froze in fear
As he screamed out in panic, "Oh, my God! It's Balladeer!!!!!"

© Copyright 2007 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
1 posted 2007-05-29 06:30 PM


Good Good Good. Love the last line.

keep fighting, sir.

Have a wonderful day!!!

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
2 posted 2007-05-29 06:49 PM


:: cracks up & figures that there is nothing to say ... just laugh and enjoy ::

ladylisa
Member
since 2007-04-29
Posts 342
Florida USA
3 posted 2007-05-30 07:25 AM


A true warriors poem, brought a smile to my face this morning.  Very good!!!!!!
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

4 posted 2007-05-30 07:28 AM


  Ya made me smile m'friend.  Very much enjoyed this delight and as always, done with perfection sir.  
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
5 posted 2007-05-30 07:46 AM


Yea...I figured I'd wind up in hell...This could make an atheist out of Benny Hinn......

[This message has been edited by Toerag (05-30-2007 09:48 AM).]

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
6 posted 2007-05-30 10:22 AM


LOL! Balladeer, you can always make me laugh.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2007-05-30 12:55 PM


you should make books out of these yaknow?

I can just imagine the illustrations! LOL

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2007-05-30 06:03 PM


sigh..I've been trying to reply to folks, but my little bandwith bandits are out of school for the summer...pout.

But anyhow, I came in to echo the sentiments of Dixie--seriously, ya'll should consider the book idea.

I am also tantalized by the idea of illustrations--as well as the idea of the unedited naughties that I know you guys can write.

There is an art to making this look easy, and you are the master!


Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2007-05-30 06:50 PM



Just dittoing the smart ones!




The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
10 posted 2007-06-01 09:30 PM



me too!

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
11 posted 2007-06-02 11:42 PM


And me 2-3-4

A

Mr»ÄlleÿÇät
Member
since 2001-06-02
Posts 190

12 posted 2007-06-03 01:19 AM


lol what a gr8 piece!
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
13 posted 2007-06-10 05:01 PM


ROFL .... OMG, what an ending. Way too good, Michael, well done!

Thank you for this great big smile.  

Best wishes, laughs and hugs,
/Kit

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
14 posted 2007-06-12 09:49 AM


lmao Only you my dearest. This was great!

Marilyn

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
15 posted 2007-06-12 01:04 PM


Lordy, Lordy, Lordy! Gawd, please have mercy on those poor lads! They knew not what they were doing ~  nor with Whom they were dealing!

Of course, I know who You are because I am one of your little angels!

This was downright unrighteous ~ and hysterical!!!

Praise be to Ye in the Highest,

Earth Angel


RogueandPoet
Member
since 2007-06-04
Posts 126
Oregon
16 posted 2007-06-12 01:07 PM


Just awesome.... Loved it.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
17 posted 2007-06-12 05:59 PM


Lordy that takes me back to other challenges, where the weapons were words and the spectators gained much from the battle. As always, my Lord your words and rhythm are perfect your poetry music to my ear. BTW I'm still standing

a good commitee can decimate communication.

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
18 posted 2007-06-15 01:45 AM


I knew I came in here for some reason, this must have been it - and now I will be laughing myself to sleep for sure.  Perfect rhyme and the reason suits me too.  

Ditto, on the book idea too.

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
19 posted 2007-07-03 10:53 AM


You mean to tell me YOU're the one who's been flicking my prayer requests into the trash bin... who's had such a divine time, laughing at my expense????

No more, I say... I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!! LOL

Great contribution to the never-ending war. *G*

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
20 posted 2007-07-03 04:18 PM


Nice writing...James
Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
21 posted 2007-07-08 04:28 PM


I just came to, tell me what happened! This proves I don't spend enough time around here. Have you retired with too much time on your hands? It turns out to be a pleasure to be made fun of by somebody with talent. Well done.

P.S. Boys let me know when our meeting is becuase now that we know where we're going I say we bring it on.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
22 posted 2007-07-08 04:40 PM


He be the Mannnnn....  Good one 'Deer. very
good.

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