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Ellison Bay
| Open Poetry #40 |
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Ellison Bay |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan 
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. Like Northern Lights— The hem of her long white dress Brushing summer fields . |
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| © Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
This is so very beautiful, Sir Pawlik, I shall try hard to make one, if only good enough for reading, an antithetical "poem". yours is too good |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Wonderful imagery and a truly perfect haiku. Love, Margherita  |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
like Western Paradise- The heaven of his brief young dream glamouring winter memory not good. try to think another one. yours is just too perfect. not a haiku [This message has been edited by Drauntz (05-20-2007 07:29 PM).] |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 adding 'the' to the first line makes this a fine senryu, as far as syllable count goes |
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