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Open Poetry #40
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Dead Keepsakes
| Open Poetry #40 |
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Dead Keepsakes |
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iwontdrownagain Junior Member
since 2003-10-04
Posts 39Massachusetts |
Ahhhh It's good to be back! It's been so long since I've been here or posted anything. I've written a few things since then, but I want to get some fresh critiques from anyone that hasn't read any of my poems. The poem I'm posting is an oldie, but a goodie in my mind. It's one of my favorites. As long as everyone keeps reading, I'll post more! Dead Keepsakes Hang them from the ceiling With twine around their necks. Days go by, the life dripping out of them, The color draining. Look what has been done. But everyone does it Why put them to waste? They’re keepsakes, A reminder of something significant Or someone significant In such a useless and forgotten life. Some parts green, others muddy brown And the foul stench, Just the thought is repulsive. By the six or by the dozen They’re hung from the ceiling with twine, Swaying slightly as the wind blows Through the old and dirty drapes, Filling the room with old air Despite the new day. The years go by and the stench departs slowly Colors remain the same: A muddy brown, a swamp green. Dried and useless. A memo from a time of hope. But the future proved the hopeful times Weren’t as happy as he said they would be. So to show him the feeling, Hang them from the ceiling With twine around their necks. Then the days go by, the life drips from them And the color drains. Why put them to waste? They’re keepsakes "The green of your eyes |
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| © Copyright 2007 Lynn Moynahan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
Why did it have to be this way? But here Dominick is. Looks like his father. There is no denying it. He thinks she is in love with him. She doesn't love him either. But he doesn’t know. And now, she is gone. posted 11-17-2003.yours...see the familiar eaves?? |
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iwontdrownagain Junior Member
since 2003-10-04
Posts 39Massachusetts |
Yes, that's mine...like I said, I haven't been here in a while. I decided to repost some stuff to get fresh feedback. I'm almost done with my semester here in school, and I will be posting more of my newer poems when I get home and have my poems with me. But I don't understand this: posted 11-17-2003.yours...see the familiar eaves?? "The green of your eyes That you get from your father Shows your personality, Such a young girl with an equally Young and foolish heart." ~Lynn M |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
11-17-2003 your poem titled Thomas's Poem You used special character which is used by someone else frequently to show strong emotions. will you please explain it to me that why you wanted to use it? truth only please! [This message has been edited by Drauntz (05-08-2007 09:34 PM).] |
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iwontdrownagain Junior Member
since 2003-10-04
Posts 39Massachusetts |
I'm not sure what you're talking about. Do you mean like using someone else's voice to express strong emotion rather than my own? The part of the story that you posted wasn't anything real. I just started writing it one day when it came to me. I was reading some epics in one of my classes a few years ago, and I wanted to see if I could write in that way. I didn't go very far with it since I lost interest after a while. Dead Keepsakes is to myself, I guess. It's about dead roses being dried and the emotions that are feeling the same way. Just exhausted and unable to care anymore. I hope that answers your question! If not, just be more specific in the question. "The green of your eyes |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
’t....I am asking about this. what is the meaning of this? |
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iwontdrownagain Junior Member
since 2003-10-04
Posts 39Massachusetts |
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh I get it....I don't know. I think it is just some sort of mess up. Different formats. A lot of times if you copy and paste something from a word processor or something similar, apostrophes and some other characters will show up like that. Nothing significant. Just a thing that comes up. |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
I thought that you have better explanations. Thank you!! |
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iwontdrownagain Junior Member
since 2003-10-04
Posts 39Massachusetts |
Did it answer your question? "The green of your eyes |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
absolutely not. |
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iwontdrownagain Junior Member
since 2003-10-04
Posts 39Massachusetts |
if you're asking about this ’t, the symbols, they are a glitch type of thing that happens when some sort of format incompatibility happens between the word processor and wherever it is being put into on some sort of form. "The green of your eyes |
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