Lost Loves and Long-abandoned Dreams

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secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

0 posted 2007-05-02 06:46 PM

Lost Loves and Long-abandoned Dreams

      At the calm, “dead end”
      of an unredeemable day,
      above all the plastic faces
      passing in parade
      along their unremarkable ways,
      her smile....
      lingers for awhile
      dangling in the vapid air,
     (as one last tease of
         hopeless love)
     then vanishes in a sudden,
         sullen wind
     down cold and darkling,
     vacant streets of empty
         promises.
     Under a pallid, two-faced moon
     meandering tacit tapestries
         of time and stars
     in an endless, immortal sky,
     my ‘voice’ is lost
     to the fractured beating
     of a broken heart
     in long-abandoned dreams!

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

1 posted 2007-05-02 07:15 PM

so sad, so sad. the sorrow is flowing around this poem

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2007-05-02 08:22 PM

"  her smile....
      lingers for awhile
      dangling in the vapid air,
     (as one last tease of
         hopeless love)
     then vanishes in a sudden,
         sullen wind"
I understand this...

a very melancholy moment captured for us to see..
well done

ArtSolstice
Member

since 2007-03-18

Posts 498

3 posted 2007-05-02 10:03 PM

Pathos handsomely articulated.

You create the vision of “her smile” like those no longer with us whom we see in dreams, then we wake to face the sad/true realization. The lightning that leaves the room even darker.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2007-05-03 02:18 AM

May I say ... perfection!

One for my library.

Love,
Margherita

Startime55
Member Elite

since 2003-04-05

Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada

5 posted 2007-05-03 09:34 AM

Sorrow and longing fills this poem...loss of love can break our hearts until we let the healing winds of memory open us to new dreams...Powerful writing that touches the heart of the reader... *Big Hugs*

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2007-05-03 09:45 AM

Bruce~

'two-faced moon
     meandering tacit tapestries
         of time and stars
     in an endless, immortal sky'

*smiling* at the thought of that 'two-faced moon' ... last night's moon was exquisite~

'incurable Romanticism', huh ?

Yeah ... and I love it~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - noles1@totcon.com

Robert Jordan
Member

since 2007-02-07

Posts 392
Philadelphia Pa USA

7 posted 2007-05-03 10:16 AM

Secondhanddreampoet,

This is really good work. It's well written, and I don't have any nits with it at all.

Bobby

paullallady
Member

since 2007-04-03

Posts 262
Michigan

8 posted 2007-05-03 11:34 AM

what a beautifully sad poem. Great imagery.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

9 posted 2007-05-03 12:43 PM

"meandering tacit tapestries
of time and stars"
beautiful meanderings

MindBodySoul
Member

since 2007-01-10

Posts 196
NJ

10 posted 2007-05-03 01:03 PM

"my ‘voice’ is lost
     to the fractured beating
     of a broken heart
     in long-abandoned dreams!"

How you capture such pain and sadness... is beautiful..

I have to say... that a heart's beat does change when it is broken...  it amazing!!

Thank you for sharing such beauty!!

Jen--->MindBodySoul

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

11 posted 2007-05-03 08:50 PM

"her smile....
      lingers for awhile
      dangling in the vapid air,
     (as one last tease of
         hopeless love)"

oh poet!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

12 posted 2007-05-04 03:18 PM

This is fantastic! *S* I'd highlight my favorite part, but I love it all... excepting, of course, the knowing of that pain. *S*

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

13 posted 2007-05-04 03:41 PM

Isn't it strange how sadness can make poetry beyond the comparison of its joyous brother? This ached with the imagery of hopeless love. "down-darkling-tacit tapestries" Great word choices throughout.

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