Fantasy Friends - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

ivordavies
Senior Member

since 2007-01-10

Posts 739
Chester, England

0 posted 2007-04-28 07:15 PM

Fantasy Friends

Easter is when we're reminded
that death is not finally the end
and just because someone has left us
doesn't mean that we've now lost a friend.

For all folk live on after dying,
not just our Saviour you know,
for everyone who has departed
has to have somewhere to go.

All folk will lose someone who loves them,
the Reaper will take them one day,
but I feel that the place that they go to
is not really that far away.

In their arms can they no longer hold us
nor with lips can they comfort our ears,
but they stay all around us forever
to share both our joys and our fears.

As shown by our Lord's resurrection
when Jesus came back from the cross,
he proved to the ones who had loved him
that death wasn't such a great loss.

Most folk just see this as a symbol
and not what life's really about,
but if you listen to those who've departed
they'll whisper away all your doubt.

There's no reason why you should believe me
and death may be where it all ends,
but if so then I'm still very happy
to share love with my fantasy friends.

Ivor G Davies

The moment created this second, is a moment that's going to last.
It lives the full spectrum of time, the future, the present and past.

[This message has been edited by ivordavies (04-29-2007 02:14 AM).]

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

1 posted 2007-04-28 07:43 PM

wow, beautiful words flow directly from heart.

carter07
Junior Member

since 2007-04-26

Posts 31

2 posted 2007-04-28 09:00 PM

Great poem! You're absolutely right in the whole thing. You might want to change up your punctuation a little there are a lot of commas. Example:

Instead of...
"Easter is when we're reminded,
that death is not the final end,
and just because someone has left us,
it doesn't mean we've lost a friend"

Do...
"Easter is when we're reminded
that death is not the final end.
Just because someone has left us,
doesn't mean we've lost a friend."

Love your last line, it really makes this an awesome poem. You might consider using that theme more throughout the poem. Overrall: LOVE LOVE LOVE!

ivordavies
Senior Member

since 2007-01-10

Posts 739
Chester, England

3 posted 2007-04-29 02:17 AM

Drauntz, Carter,

Thanks for the comments, I've given this one a total overhaul! Seems like when I have to use excessive punctuation it is because my poetry is crap!

The reword should have corrected this, thanks again...

Ivor

[This message has been edited by ivordavies (04-29-2007 05:49 AM).]

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

4 posted 2007-04-29 03:14 AM

This poem is wonderful and reflects my beliefs.

I love this, Ivor

"but if you listen to those who've departed
they'll whisper away all your doubt."

I listen and will forever.

Thank you.
Alison

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.