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Open Poetry #40
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The Mist
| Open Poetry #40 |
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The Mist |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA 
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Gently through the Mist of Time Hearts emerge to Lovers' Rhyme To gently Light the Poet's eye In Moonbeam trips behind the sky. Down Gossamer threads of Hope we play The Game of love and life Dragons of fear and pain we slay To light the Hope-stars flight. "Be" is the Page refreshed to white For the Quill of the Eternal Theme Writ in the spark of the Lovers Night To fuel the Eternal Dream. Eternal Theme of Soulmates whole From the dream of Star-burst kissed Passion vent upon that knoll Bathed in white suffusion mist All seems lost with the passion spent Hear again in the Mist the lovers' lament The climactic Cry of the Little Death Curtain pulled back by Dream's misty breath Poetry is just the evidence of life. |
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| © Copyright 2007 Bill Franklin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"All seems lost with the passion spent Hear again in the Mist the lovers' lament The climactic Cry of the Little Death Curtain pulled back by Dream's misty breath" la petite mort the little death... yes you write so well Bill |
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ivordavies Senior Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 739Chester, England |
Again I find excellent and deep content in easily followed rhyme, nice piece. I am interested how you create an entrance and exit to the piece by changing the rhyming scheme, S1:AABB S2:ABAB S3:ABAB s4:ABAB S5:AABB Hard Exciting Crust with A Soft Middle! You are truly a master of your art.... Have Fun, Ivor Hope you don't mind me analysing (admiring) your skill on site...... The moment created this second, is a moment that's going to last. |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Bill..... this is lovely!! RDB  |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA |
Thanks Ivor!! Actually the whole poem was suppose to be AABB. Usually I will ramble on a certain subject then send it to the chopping block. To be honest i dont care much for AABB AABB or same rhyming down a poem. If you notice it reads almost the same, if you read it AABB all the way down. You can switch the quatrains. Pretty much personal preference i guess. I just try to stay in meter for the readers sake and keep my Syallabes with 1 of each other. On the other hand i will throw all the rules out the window in a last ditch effort to get my point across. Sometimes following the rules puts your thoughts in to many restrictive boundaries. I would rather write a crappy poem then to steer off course just to keep it in meter and syallabe count. Im still learning as well. Thanks for the question you can comment anytime! |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA |
Roniece And The lady thank you for your comments  |
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