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Open Poetry #40
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Pay No Mind
| Open Poetry #40 |
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Pay No Mind |
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paperthin New Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 6 |
While looking to the rising sun See clearly the haze of darkness, But pay no mind. The shallow pockets of your mind Always stretch and become deeper. Feel the winds - harsh though smooth And know they carry sorrows, But fear not. The eye of the storm is forthcoming To calm and extinguish them. But when those rays or gust filter through They'll not show tolerance for tears So withstand it. Theres always the light in tunnels And the ever-happy afters. |
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| © Copyright 2007 paperthin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
yes! yes! yes! enjoyed welcome warmly! |
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paperthin New Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 6 |
So am I to assume you liked it? Do you have any thoughts or critisms? I love harsh critiques! |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
Yes, i liked it. I shall say like this Dark can go darker at down. but we'll know more. Scary can go scarier, storm-calm(eye)-stronger storm. and the strong one has no tolerance of the weak one but no fear there is hope. tell me your thought if you want. |
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paperthin New Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 6 |
I don't understand the comments you had at the end. Was it a correction to my poem? |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I like the upbeat message in this I wouldn't change a thing Welcome to Passions! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS! I very much enjoyed your entrance post.. Looking forward to reading more of your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Welcome to Pips. I enjoyed this and will be looking forward to more of your writes. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Welcome to PIPS! "Pay No Mind" is a nice reminder of the duality we face ... never losing the awareness of the LIGHT, but brightening its vision thanks to the shadows. Good job! Love, Margherita |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
PT~ Welcome to PiP~ In reading the replies to this I note that you seem to be requesting critiques, yet in your profile you have - Encourage Critiques: No Perhaps you should go back into your profile and place a 'yes' to encouraging critiques ? Some of our members would be hesitant to 'critique' it without that being done~ Some of us don't do 'critique' ... but just read for the enjoyment of reading~  Anyhow ... enjoy your stay~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Welcome to pip! Enjoyed your post and this - "The shallow pockets of your mind Always stretch and become deeper." One would hope so but shallow seems to be the norm these days. |
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paperthin New Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 6 |
I've no idea how to change that "encourage critique" thing! Help? |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
If you will go into the Member's Area/Help, you will find a space for changing your Profile. Click on that, enter the appropriate information, and you can scroll down until you see the area in which to modify your critique status. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact a moderator...we will be glad to be of assistance. In the meantime, please check your email for a Very Special Greeting! " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
Paperthin, what I wrote was how I understood your poem. It could be different. I liked it because of my own understanding of it touched my heart. A very good one. |
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