»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #40
»
Vacant Spaces
| Open Poetry #40 |
|
Vacant Spaces |
|
|
secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! 
|
Vacant Spaces Time-lost spires..... broken bells swinging silently in aimless cadence with breezes through bone-bare trees beneath an angry sky where sunlight’s cheapened by the shade’s regrets and dust-shafts dance in lonely rooms of freeze-dried hearts too long abandoned by love’s last promises lying quiet and impotent like Winter’s final snow awaiting the shock of Spring! [This message has been edited by secondhanddreampoet (03-25-2007 08:24 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2007 Bruce E. Adams Jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
ArtSolstice Member
since 2007-03-18
Posts 498 |
Melancholy, moving, and powerful. |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
secondhanddreampoet, I could not have said it better. |
||
|
ArtSolstice Member
since 2007-03-18
Posts 498 |
Yes, Bruce, I see you've made a change here in your text. This makes it stronger. Well done! |
||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
The 'shock of spring' elicits some powerful imagery! |
||
|
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
ouch so real it hurts "and dust-shafts dance in lonely rooms of freeze-dried hearts too long abandoned by love’s last promises" |
||
|
TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Very beautiful and moving ... I hope the shock of spring can throw off that melancholy... ~~Terry ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, |
||
|
jak Member
since 2007-03-14
Posts 85Charlotte, NC |
unabashed and complete. Jak |
||
|
dwgpoet Member
since 2007-03-05
Posts 122FL, USA |
Sound; Images; Touch; Heart's feelings; Yes, complete: Romanticism. |
||
|
Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
wow. How can you do it in one breath? beautiful. and all those words do not really give a sad feelings. it is kind of anger and the strength of strugle. beautiful. |
||
|
Robert Jordan Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 392Philadelphia Pa USA |
Secondhanddreampoet, The words are all there. The only nit I really have is with the strange...... However, I’m fussy about punctuation marks. Bobby |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I told you I would. (read more of you, that is) this... "bone-bare trees beneath an angry sky where sunlight’s cheapened by the shade’s regrets" I took that to heart, as we are still rather empty on the horizon down here. (Katrina ate our trees.) Impressive right and rather, unforgettable.  |
||
|
MindBodySoul Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 196NJ |
Ha! I am taken aback by how much I relate to this piece. "in lonely rooms of freeze-dried hearts too long abandoned by love’s last promises lying quiet and impotent like Winter’s final snow awaiting the shock of Spring!" I was here for 5 yrs... and at the end of my winter I got shocked by a new love... I love it!!! Thanks for sharing Jen--->MindBodySoul |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
bone-bare trees beneath an angry sky where sunlight’s cheapened by the shade’s regrets I love these lines... what a powerful image! *S* Excellent write! |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
hmmm...those regrets can eat at you  M |
||
|
aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
lying quiet and impotent like Winter’s final snow awaiting the shock of Spring! (just smiles) Alison |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
BruceBruceBruceBruceBruce~ 'dust-shafts dance in lonely rooms' I've seen them ... just never found the words to make them dance~ You did it for me~ GORGEOUS !!! Have I told you lately that I am SO GLAD you are a poet ? (Well ... that's my take ... and I'm sticking to it !) *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I'm so glad this came back up or I'd have missed it I'm sure you have written exactly what I have meant to but couldn't |
||
|
paullallady Member
since 2007-04-03
Posts 262Michigan |
"bone-bare trees beneath an angry sky where sunlight’s cheapened by the shade’s regrets" What a masterpiece of imagery and descriptiveness this is. Crying out its' soul to each of us who are blessed enough to read it. |
||
|
ArtSolstice Member
since 2007-03-18
Posts 498 |
Just needed to revisit this poem today and tell you how extraordinary I think it is. |
||
|
Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Let the winter of your feelings die as does winter...then spring can bring healing and new life to your heart and soul...a sad read...*Big Hugs* |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
