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jak
Member

since 2007-03-14

Posts 85
Charlotte, NC

0 posted 2007-03-19 03:11 PM

Hammers slam softly
On pins placed with care.
Powder pulls combustion
From unsuspecting air.

Casings spin silent
Spiral past peace.
While mouths water willingly,
As fools flock to feast.

Barrels so brazen,
Move mothers to mourn,
And fill briefly with anger,
Releasing short storms.

Death tolls tally flesh,
And ripped open chests,
As hammers slam softly,
Without much regret.

Jak
Argonaut - My Poetry Blog

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

1 posted 2007-03-19 05:11 PM

The hammers that pound us to death are human hammers of flesh! But people are looking, noticing, and writing as you have done here. Change is worth hoping for.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2007-03-19 06:49 PM

Very powerful write here jak!
Well done...and much appreciated.
~Nancy

~ Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me. ~

Thebaer
Junior Member

since 2007-03-18

Posts 10

3 posted 2007-03-19 06:52 PM

nice use of words to put across your point

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

4 posted 2007-03-19 07:11 PM

Well done Jak!!

believe in what your heart feels...

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

5 posted 2007-03-19 08:28 PM

excellent title, powerful poem...extremely well done...

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2007-03-20 06:26 AM

I read this earlier but was distracted from my reply

but it's a great write

Angel4aKing
Senior Member

since 2006-09-27

Posts 1372
USA

7 posted 2007-03-20 09:23 PM

WOW!!! Awesomely good war poem!!! Reminded me of Iraq!!!

My favorite part..

Death tolls tally flesh,
And ripped open chests,
As hammers slam softly,
Without much regret.

~~~kingsangel~~~

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

8 posted 2007-03-21 04:55 PM

very strong work Jak
well done

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

9 posted 2007-03-21 06:18 PM

jak

When I read a couple of your replies, I knew your poetry would be good (not the right word, but will have to do) I'm not disappointed.

jak
Member

since 2007-03-14

Posts 85
Charlotte, NC

10 posted 2007-03-21 07:53 PM

thanks for all the kind words.

Jak
Argonaut - My Poetry Blog

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

11 posted 2007-03-23 02:26 PM

A powerful and bulls-eye direct write.
Thank you, for this.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

12 posted 2007-03-23 02:34 PM

A man who shoots straight and right from the hip! A powerfully effective piece of writing
~ and might I add that I totally concur with your thoughts and appreciate how well you expressed them!

Love & Light ~ & Peace & Harmony,

EA

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