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Water Woman (Villanelle)
| Open Poetry #40 |
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Water Woman (Villanelle) |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Water Woman She carried buckets from the spring Raindrops licked at dark tangled hair Mind dreamed of beauty morning brings Magpies squawked as they tried to sing Perched upon budding branches bare She carried buckets from the spring Violets bloomed in a fairy ring Fragrance wafted in early air Mind dreamed of beauty morning brings Old growth shadowed, ever aging Nature’s bounty a gift to share She carried buckets from the spring Searching eyes looked at everything Bark became clothes for trees to wear Mind dreamed of beauty morning brings Arced towards the sun swallows took wing New day captured yesterday’s cares She carried buckets from the spring Mind dreamed of beauty morning brings … Alison [This message has been edited by aziza (06-03-2007 10:04 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
what a fine work! Alison, you did so well on this...lots better than I have the patience to do love it! |
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gmcooper Junior Member
since 2007-05-30
Posts 47 |
This is a form I haven't done in a long time. Very nice, you did good! |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
it is beautiful and an interesting style. enjoyed |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Thank you all. It's a style I am hoping to get better at with practice and time. I hope PiP bares with me as I post my efforts from time to time. A |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
VERY interesting 'write'! Applause!! I especially loved: "She carried buckets from the spring Raindrops licked at dark tangled hair Mind dreamed of beauty morning brings" and: "Magpies squawked as they tried to sing" as well as: "New day captured yesterday’s cares" [great lines and images!!] one small question: what is "Arced" (line 16)? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
A fine effort, Allison. I'm sure you will pick up even more fluidity and ease the more you write them.....it's not an easy form to do well. Even the attempt is worthy of applause. I have no doubt Toerag would be happy to bare with you.....the rest of us will simply bear with you  |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Well, good question after I looked it up .. I meant it as a verb and think it was an improper use of the word after I got out my huge old dictionary. Googled it -- arced adjective Deviating from a straight line: arched, arciform, bent, bowed, curved, curvilinear, rounded. See straight/bent Which shows the word as an adjective .. to use it as verb is to form an electrical arc. So, guess I'll go edit the poem. Thank you for subtly (tactfully) bringing this to my attention. I am so glad that you read my poetry. Alison |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
:: Cracks up :: Okay, okay, I am a flasher! |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
This is an interesting form. I wrote one a few years back. |
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