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ponderthepoetorrsx
Member

since 2011-06-25

Posts 284
U.S , Ca

0 posted 2014-08-29 10:36 AM

I want to go home,
Yes I want to go home
Where is my heart?
On vacation loving someone else.

While I won't find solace in a bottle,
I can't find heaven in a cup of tea
heaven is in a bottle,
No no no
Heaven is behind a pair of eyes,
Between a pair of lips
That I will never kiss,
Oh that I will never kiss.

Oh I'm a vagabond
That nobody knows
I'm a simpleton
Yes I'm a simpleton.

While I can find solace in a bottle,
I won't find heaven in a cup of tea.
Heaven is in a bottle
No no no,
Heaven is behind a pair of eyes
Between a pair of lips
That I will never kiss,
Oh that I will never kiss.

I'm a vagabond,
A simpleton,
A singleton
Who nobody knows.

I want to go home
But my heart is on vacation
Loving somebody else.

An empty cup of tea,
Heaven in a bottle
A sparkling pair of eyes,
Dreams between a pair of lips,
That I will never kiss
Oh that I will never kiss.

Just a vagabond
Who wants to home,
But his heart is on vacation
Loving someone else,
While he finds heaven in a bottle
And an empty cup of tea.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

1 posted 2014-08-29 09:04 PM

Enjoyed the first 3 stanza's, my friend, but kind of lost me after that - - - not sure I understood where it was going.

Thanks for the read.

j.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2014-09-01 07:11 AM

You sing a melancholic song here ... home is where your heart is I guess and maybe instead of the bottle you might give it a try ... who knows if on the other side there is a similar feeling?

Margherita

jjote
Senior Member

since 2002-12-25

Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada

3 posted 2015-02-21 02:06 PM

I don't know if it's intentional but there are verses somewhere down the lines which were repetitive. Maybe deleting them will make reading smooth and flowing nicely since the last verse has captured or reiterated these lines, and making this ending stronger or more powerful.

A lover's lament I'd call this, but don't despair, you may find a new one further down the road. Cheers!

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