Sonnet of a Pathetic Heart

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Corner Pub #3

Sonnet of a Pathetic Heart

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2010-03-17 12:54 PM

Sonnet of a Pathetic Heart

I no longer have a clue
Why I cant control what I do
Like why I know I'll hurt you
and why I know this to be true

You'll give me flowers red and blue
I'll give love bitter as a bouquet of rue
There will be hurt I can't undo
And choices I'll have no choice but to redo

And while you will enjoy the view
I'll wonder if you even knew
I will treat you cruel just like a shew
and hate myself for all I do

I don't know what I need to do
When all I want to have is you

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2010-03-17 02:45 AM

I applaud your bravery--sonnets...

so deceptively simple, but that paradox only adds to the art of them.

I felt lonely after reading this, and I do always put emotion about method--you conveyed that to me, so I say you have a success.

thanks, you

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

2 posted 2010-03-17 05:11 PM

Well I am a little mad or a few screws from it, so considering most of my poems are uncompromisable I too consider it a success.

Juju

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

Laverne Pacquire
Member

since 2009-11-15

Posts 96

3 posted 2010-03-21 05:20 PM

ju..this poem is wicked and cruel.  a bit abusive in mood and tone.
almost  hannibal lecter like...but a bit tamer.
the use of words is well okay, i guess.  I like the sonnet form

the last two lines sounds as if from a tori amos song..

..take care

Trapped - Nothing
Member

since 2010-04-25

Posts 52

4 posted 2010-04-26 11:37 AM

I no longer have a clue
what a hard hitting line.

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