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Stitches
Member

since 2009-11-27

Posts 159
United Kingdom

0 posted 2009-12-12 06:02 PM

Though I shy beneath the cold
I sit and wonder if when I'm old,
You will still love me
for not what you'll see,
If you'll still love me for being me.

You found my heart and turned it in,
Away from lust and carnal sin.
But with some care you cherished me,
Let me grow into what I should be.

You guided me with tender hand
as we travelled the sunset land
of scarlet birds envious in flight
and hands that held beneath the night.

I saw my art reflected in you,
And knew at once what you would do.
You laid me down amongst the flowers,
And helped me pass the blushing hours.

And I smile as the roses sing,
Your heart reflected in my ring
Upon my hand as we let time pass,
Opaque band and transparent glass.

And with you down upon your knee,
I knew at once who I could be.
Think of me not as a passing trend
But a warm embrace at journey's end.

'I feel like an animal, and I don't think that I get it. But one day I'll see you around.'

KatKali
Member

since 2008-01-03

Posts 67
Where the wispers grow louder

1 posted 2009-12-12 09:29 PM

That was... I don't know what to say I loved the rythming, because it wasn't very intense. Also I really love the tone and how the poem developed. Although some part didn't quite fit right grammatically, over all well done. I applaud you.

Stitches
Member

since 2009-11-27

Posts 159
United Kingdom

2 posted 2009-12-12 09:40 PM

Yeah I get what you mean.

Thanks.

'I feel like an animal, and I don't think that I get it. But one day I'll see you around.'

QuietAstronomer
Junior Member

since 2009-12-13

Posts 18
North Carolina, USA

3 posted 2009-12-15 10:36 PM

True love...a splendid place.
Well written.

Thank you.

QA

Stitches
Member

since 2009-11-27

Posts 159
United Kingdom

4 posted 2009-12-18 02:21 PM

Thanks

'I feel like an animal, and I don't think that I get it. But one day I'll see you around.'

Songbird
Member Elite

since 1999-12-15

Posts 2184
Missouri

5 posted 2010-01-05 12:28 PM

This poem is simply amazing. You should have it published. It is so touching and romantic. It is full of love and devotion.

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