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Sedona
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Sedona |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams 
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Sedona Desert paradise full of lies It rained hard the day I came The flowers became an orchestra Full of color and ecstasy When the clouds started to break up I saw the truth pierce through my soul I had never felt so naked As when my skin became consumed -Juju -<>-~-<>-~-<>- * Juju * -<>-~-<>-~-<>- [This message has been edited by Juju (10-08-2006 09:03 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Juju - All Rights Reserved | |||
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skoolyardturtle Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 96 |
mmm...nice and ominous, the way i like it. A short, strong write. I can't help but think you wanted to say more, though. When i read it, I wanted to feel more of your shame...more of your anguish(hope I'm not sounding too creepy), but maybe that wasn't what you were aiming for. But seriously, good stuff here. |
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JesusChristPose Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777Pittsburgh, Pa |
~ Now, that is what I am talking about. No doubt, you have it in you, and it was always there to begin with, Juju. Enjoyed! "Melvin, the best thing you got going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself." |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Is this a connundrum? It is very mysterious. Joyce |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Well, I guess it could be a conundrum. It wasn't meant to be. It is Just like all my poems, where I tell a story. There is a story here. I might have over done the metaphores... but I made my decision on the poem, so I think, I might keep it the way it is. -Juju -Juju |
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