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Corner Pub #3
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(Still working on it and needs a title)
| Corner Pub #3 |
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(Still working on it and needs a title) |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
I don't have a title yet, and it still needs work. I don't really like the last two stanzas either. Please tell me what you think. Rigid arms still cling to wisps of Jade, as Autumn's curtain falls. Daylight fades to stir the Dusk, dreaming the hours away. While Winter waits, it drapes the Earth within a blanket of white. Shy Starlight sings to the rays of morn, beyond the reach of sight. The season's call, an invataion, to let the burden's go. Another chance, another season, so let the seedlings grow. |
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| © Copyright 2007 Andrew - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
No I like your last two verses. For me they give meaning to the first verses. They are a grounding after being suspended in time. Joyce |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I like it to Andrew. I think it's very well done. For a title how about The Season's Call or maybe Another Chance? |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
I like it! ARCTIC WIND |
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