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Teen Poetry #8
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Running Notes run Lullabies
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Running Notes run Lullabies |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
Her fingers need no warm up- they just play Floating over the keys that make melodic notes 7 years of training, the first 3 lessoned, the last not Playing better that those with training exceeding her own But she’s no prodigy, just a soul artist, she’s just that Finger tips extended to their extreme, and no one can hear her So she sings out her artist soul, the poetry of sound She may not be able to paint a picture But that girl can paint the air with sounds lush and lovely Notes that seem impossible, keys that can’t be reached meet her What of a pretty pianist, at least they say she is pretty Her talent is an outlet; her talent is herself, that talent She’s not out to impress, just to give it her best And yet she plays for bigger audiences all the time Her heart hung out before them- and yet no one knows it And she wishes for another to come and play with her Imagining his arms around hers playing around her fingers But it’s just a dream she keeps to her self Her bench is an army trunk- and her stand is a TV screen Her piano is out of tune, but she hits all the right notes anyways That girl that never puts anything but love into her work She still stands around that old broken piano The keys are falling out and her tears spill onto the stings And she fingers the burnt army chest that used to sustain her Feeling the melted metal that used to be peddles she would play Missing making it sing and letting her silent tears fall The piano that was so dear is now all in ruins The top torn off and the legs about to topple over But it was hers now it’s in a barren wasteland The old piano that play out her heart Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you. Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die. |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
okay. i LOVED the poem. (i love music, even though i play guitar and not piano) i really thought that "every notes a lullaby" sounded very cool and i think its fits pretty good. (but AGAIN its just my oppinion. |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
fabulous title, i tweaked it a bit, i hope you don't mind. but thanks- your an inspiration. -Red Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you. |
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jayjara Member
since 2007-05-02
Posts 90Florida |
Stanzas 2 and 3 are kinda weak...you could go into some heavy metaphoric genius with the fingers extending and the piano keys and all that. I'd say show not tell...some lines could use some more concrete images like in stanza 5...then stanza 6 ends it pretty well. Not bad. -J |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
wow it was beautiful and sad all at the same time definitely one of my favourites |
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