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Teen Poetry #8
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My Sleeves, Yeah, They’re Bleeding
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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My Sleeves, Yeah, They’re Bleeding |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
My Sleeves, Yeah, They’re Bleeding Cry away our last meeting, My sleeves, yeah, they’re bleeding Take your time in coming out My clothes are ripped, yet you doubt Killing time isn’t so easy without your face It pulls time unruly into strict place Miss my words and kiss my sidewalk tears You just walked into the hall of mirrors Too many times you let me outside Not enough have I tried My body speaks volumes to your mind’s contour And that’s the problem- my words mean so much more Cry away our last meeting, My sleeves, yeah, they’re bleeding Take your time in coming out My clothes are ripped, yet you doubt Live in love and breathe in sounds of running water And find the word that killed you a martyr Long live the pretend story you keep running in You keeping it running in and through your metal tin Cry away our last meeting, My sleeves, yeah, they’re bleeding Take your time in coming out My clothes are ripped, yet you doubt Cry away our last meeting My sleeves, yeah, they’re bleeding Yeah, they’re bleeding out Bleeding because you doubt |
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| © Copyright 2007 RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Just a bit confused about the bleeding, suggestion would be to include a bit more of why they are bleeding because when you bring something in like that it is hard for the reader when you base it on something and don't explain. The main stanza was very good thogugh albeit confusing, makes me want to read more |
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