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Teen Poetry #8
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Wounded in Dream Land
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Wounded in Dream Land |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
Wounded in Dream Land Sometimes, in the bitter cold of my own subconscious I feel a pain so sharp, that if not for those around me I would scream in pain Other times I feel so absolutely nothing that I can't take in words Those words others speak go through me like the ghosts of sleep This form is the only one that means anything to me now I’m going hot and cold in my own soul, frozen to melting it wavers I hope I make slight sense; my waters are on the contours of your map now Find your compass rose and follow me in to lead me back out Pull me friend, out of the blacken waters to those sparkling with sun I hide, much like the phantom, behind a mask that defines who I am Though it doesn't seem right yet, I find myself falling in love with the notion of falling in love What does that mean for my bleeding and mending insides that don't rest? Night to day and day to night sun to moon and over again and again I feel the illusion of caring eyes looking upon my face once more this day But what if I peeled my mask off, till I exposed all of myself to the world Could they take what they would find- or would they shutter at what humanity truly is Why does something that should mean the most in the world mean nothing anymore? Are we so far gone as a race that we believe the fantastic fairy tales of childhood Read me now- tell me who I am, you see don't you, you see my beast behind my beauty And the boys I protect and figure out with my mind and heart say I have inner beauty Right to my face and they say they don't want to cause me pain like the one they've seen in my eyes But they don't know that I carry all of their burdens on my shoulders with my own And I pray to the heavens asking how I can bear my own grief with another’s I feel in my room, when I’m alone, darkness of more than just the tangible kind What has become of me, the warm drink I sip is the only warmth that I am given I stuck my bare hand into your rip cage and fished around until I found your heart ripped it out tore it apart while saying You dont need this anymore |
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| © Copyright 2007 RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
Though it doesn't seem right yet, I find myself falling in love with the notion of falling in love What does that mean for my bleeding and mending insides that don't rest? Night to day and day to night sun to moon and over again and again I feel the illusion of caring eyes looking upon my face once more this day But what if I peeled my mask off, till I exposed all of myself to the world very nice. i liked this alot. my faveorite part is above. i liked it the best. |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
it was good i liked it but i did find it hard to read with the lnes being so long i found that there should have been breaks in the lines where there was none so the rhymning that i found didn't match up if you get what i mean take the sentence and where you feel the break put the rest on the next line i think that would help alot but very good write |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I really like this, I think the lines are good. It was well thought out and was written very well. And very relatable, your a very talented writer. RhIa |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
it was a poem-letter to my friend, and it's very raw and coded with things i don't even fully understand. thankyou all. encouragement is always so good to hear and thankyou espeacially to rhia. that was very kind. -Red I stuck my bare hand into your rip cage and fished around until I found your heart ripped it out tore it apart while saying You dont need this anymore |
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