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Teen Poetry #8

Broken mirror

Tee
Junior Member

since 2006-12-20

Posts 26
Belgium

0 posted 2007-06-08 05:31 PM

You say you love me
You say you care
But whenever I need you
You're never there

There to wipe away my tears
There to wash away all my fears
No, you leave me cold
Never there to keep me warm

You say I make you complete
You say I'm the only one whom you need
But yet you treat me like a stone
Leaving me all alone

I can't controle this anger anymore
It's time for me to show you the door
As my fist makes its way towards you
Breaking the mirror in two

Been a long time since I last posted a poem here, but as I finished this one just a moment ago I felt like posting it here. Do still feel that it still need alot of tweaking to get it right, but then again a poem is never finished

Hope you enjoy reading it.
Regards,
Tee

WaterFairy103
Member

since 2006-05-31

Posts 196

1 posted 2007-06-08 08:21 PM

Wow... this is really awesome! A few tweaks here and there, but just technical things. Very good, I loved it!

I've stopped fighting my inner demons... we're on the same side now.

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

2 posted 2007-06-08 09:33 PM

i liked this one alot i think there isn't much tweaking left to do it was a very good poem you posted i'd love to hear mroe from you soon

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2007-06-12 12:37 PM

yes it has been awhile I hope to read more soon 'cos this was really good I loved the 1st stanza great write.
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

4 posted 2007-06-12 05:48 PM

humm a poem is never done . . . well i must say- that is so poetic of you lol. your title was so intriguing. i love intriguing things, they (obviously) intensly interest me. good write tee

-Red-a-la

I stuck my bare hand into your rip cage and fished around until I found your heart ripped it out tore it apart while saying You dont need this anymore

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