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Teen Poetry #8
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hurt inside
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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hurt inside |
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pip_man Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 70Canada |
Your memory tears a hole, Upon my heart of black, Full of lonely thoughts, I can not take back. You haunt me in my dreams, I put myself to sleep, The pain is always there, I can never dig that deep. Why must your thoughts control me, Even when your gone? I loved you until I lost you, I will never fully move on. It seemed a hopeless love, Built on lies and teenage lust, But you told me that you loved me, You assured me you were to trust. Now I lie on this bed, Numb, and full of hate, You made me black inside, You made me see my fate. So this poem I write to you, So someday you will see, You were my first and last love, You meant everything to me. "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." |
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| © Copyright 2006 LM - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
haha i beat you all to read this poem first i loved it every stanza was just amazing i'm honered to reply first unless some sneaky person is replying at the smae time as me behind my back haha but needless to say i loved this... hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
NO U BEAT ME TO IT. ANYWAY VERY GOOD POEM. i dunno about the title though. part of me says it fits perfectly another part of me thinks that it is a little off. very good flow, alot of emotions. each stanza on its own was amazing |
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pip_man Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 70Canada |
hey thanks for the reasponses, and about the title i feel the same way. I couldnt think of anything, so i made up that title and i didnt really know if it fit or not, so if anybody has suggestions let me know. "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
Well, I don't have much to say about the title. But the poem itself is absolutely amazing. Fantastic read, hope to see more of yours soon. You really have a great talent. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Well, I kind of agree that the title is so-so, it's almost like you are missing a word or something to make it complete, but I don't know... I loved this poem; it's something I can relate too, wow.. I relate to all poems! lol Nah, seriously it is, because when you get hurt you feel the hate at times. And I have no idea what I'm talking about... all well Great poem pip_man!  "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Wow, I really enjoyed this poem, probably because I can relate to it so well. As far as the title, I'll try and think up some suggestions for you, but don't get your hopes up, I'm not very creative.  Keep posting! ~Alli~ |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
"It seemed a hopeless love, Built on lies and teenage lust, But you told me that you loved me, You assured me you were to trust." favorite part. I loved this, as always with your stuff. I love how you write. I love how you ended this and I think that's where you should get your title. Take the last line and maybe make that your title "you meant everything to me" or somehting like that. Anyways, amazing job! You have such talent AIM-beatufu1tragidy |
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pip_man Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 70Canada |
Thank you sooooo much tapper. Now that I think about it that title would make perfect sense! And thanks to everyone else for reasponding. "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." |
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