Thoughts of a Dying Love - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #8

Thoughts of a Dying Love

Alaina
Member

since 2007-06-16

Posts 106

0 posted 2007-11-17 07:47 PM

I’m sitting here
Tearing my heart to shreds
As you watch down upon me,
Laughing out your sorrows

I’m sitting here
Dissecting each note
Thinking the pitch used to jump
Every time I was around

I’m sitting here
Watching the life
Fall from your eyes
Into little puddles of shame

I’m sitting here
Hating the way I love you,
The way you killed me,
And the way that I’ll never forget you

I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why can't it be mine?
-Eddie Vedder

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-11-18 01:49 AM

ahh yes, know this feeling so well. I love the way you captured the moment in your poem great job

Krysti

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

2 posted 2007-11-18 10:44 AM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

3 posted 2007-11-18 01:04 PM

"I’m sitting here
Hating the way I love you,
The way you killed me,
And the way that I’ll never forget you"

Wow, i really liked this

Nicely done!

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

4 posted 2007-11-19 12:15 PM

WOW!! i really loved this one!
its almost as if you were describing my current situation.

great write.

fromme2U
Member

since 2007-11-09

Posts 257

5 posted 2007-11-19 02:16 PM

great job.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.