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Teen Poetry #8
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another day begins again.
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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another day begins again. |
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electricxheart Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 184far away from home. |
remembrances failing my little girl legs can’t walk this distance for much longer finding perfection in the days of my naïveté in the days where the thunder symbolized God was bowling i always wanted to bowl with Him even though i proved my score could never top yours how foolish and even more we have become eyes blinded, we tend to dance freely within all this fake light our hearts could never manage to surface when your tongue continues to weigh me down in the smallest of surprises the flock of geese overhead in the midst of all that conversation we’re going somewhere better, it will be somewhere better how could i know? we were so far, i had no idea that all those childhood appearances would falter me in the end would be my living support no, why can’t i admit those faults no, why can’t you agree to let me steer this on out of north wales we’ll go anywhere, i’ll take you anywhere you want to go say the word, you know, you know she doesn’t deserve to see the way you look at me intentionally, i wanted you to be mine i didn’t know what i was getting myself wrapped into how could i know? i had no idea your perspectives were so narrow, how foolish and even more we have become the consequences being laid out right in front of us i could have placed them within the palms of your hands “take your pick, let me know” what’s best for you, lets forget about my heart lets forget for tonight that things like these matter why should i stop talking to you, of course it’s all just for show let me go remembrances failing my little girl legs can’t walk this distance for much longer finding perfection in the days of my naïveté of strawberry covered kitchens and books that i drowned myself within i thought i could have made it out of here alive how could i have known? children don’t understand how to handle themselves within fields and fields of greens and sparkling yellows and the sun was always shining reminding me of songs that have never been sung by anyone in particular change, it embeds itself like a knowing wound pushing and pushing farther to break the skin a little girl doesn’t deserve to be broken so soon that hope was placed secretly within the rubber of that tire swing i’ve never forgotten the days where it seemed so easy to say everything was going my way this is why i’m selfish, and worthless in the end this is why, why i couldn’t have known i couldn’t have everything builds on top of everything else how foolish and even more we have become i didn’t know things could be like this once it all crumbled down |
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| © Copyright 2007 Kelly Landis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
i would simplify this to one theme and the thoughts are really jumbled. Try to think in perspective to what your reader will think and whether it will make sense to them knowing what they know |
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chiLanta Junior Member
since 2006-12-01
Posts 47 |
i like it very intresting to read came from the heart and i could tell |
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shannonbaker Junior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 12 |
I like poetry that just streams out of the heart, and that is what this is like. It is very real. |
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